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I Haven't Seen a Lot of Sh*t But I Can Still Be There for You

We live in a pretty f*cked up world. People grow up without one or both parents; children live in broken homes; people experience abuse, sexual assault or other trauma.

But what happens if you’re one of the lucky few who haven’t had to go through these things? What if you grew up in the essentially picture-perfect household, where your family was a glistening stock image inside a Michaels frame — a la Bender’s imitation of Brian’s home life in The Breakfast Club?

I’m a straight, white, 23-year-old, female only child with parents who have loved each other since they were 17. I’m extremely aware of the privileges society has offered me. And I’m even more aware of others in this world to whom those privileges aren’t afforded.

I wasn’t a popular kid growing up, and I did suffer bullying in school. But there are things in this world I know my friends and family have seen that I can never even begin to imagine — things that made the bitches I went to high school with seem like your mani/pedi gal pals.

And to whoever is reading this, I’m sure you’ve gone through some sh*t too. Many people do. And right now I bet you’re probably thinking, “Who does this bitch even think she is?” 

If you laughed at or agreed with that quote, I applaud you. It’s hard to think someone is capable of understanding something they’ve never experienced. And I’m not saying I’m capable.

But we’re here to tell you that even though some of us haven’t gone through the things you have, we haven’t lost the ability to empathize. We can’t — and won’t — offer advice for a situation we know nothing about. But we know how to be there for the people we love.

If someone needs to vent or cry, we’re there in a heartbeat. We’ll lend an alert yet warm ear while you pour your heart out and snot all over our shirt. It’s not exactly groundbreaking therapy, but isn’t it what we all really want when we need a shoulder to cry on?

Sometimes we can’t help but think about all the greats that have come and gone. All of them have truly suffered in some sort of way. It’s what’s shaped their character and shaped the way they view the world and how they’ve affected it with whatever they’ve done.

But everyone suffers in one way or another, even if it’s not in an obvious way.

And even if we’re not remembered for something great, our goal in life is to make sure the people we care about are happy. And if that means using simply our presence and our ears to help, then we know we’re doing good in this world.

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