9 Lessons You Learn From Being Friends With A Loner

If you’re a loner, you know how you look to the outside world: people pretty much believe that we’re lonely and melancholy (thanks Tumblr). But in reality, we’re actually comfortable being alone, thank you very much. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have any friends or appreciate the value of company (as long as it’s not a lot).

Loners will always have a small group of friends they like to hang out with every blue moon. If you have a loner friend, you may have tried to push them to be more social with your other friends or maybe even attempted to set them up on a date (which you’ve probably realized now wasn’t a good idea). But you did it because you wanted them to be happy, right? The thing is they are happy and the best way to be friends with a loner is if you take the time to get to know them and accept their identity.

Perhaps you can learn a few things about life from their perspective:

  1. Late night weekends can be so much fun. And I’m not talking about going to the club or a house party. A loner’s idea of a late night weekend can range from staying at home and watching a 90s movie to having fish and chips at a sea port. Although we like our peace and quiet, we also like to have some fun…in a peace and quiet type of way. You eventually learn to appreciate the wekend and finding more creative ways to spend it.
  2. Silence is golden. There was at least one time in your life where you and your loner friend had a moment of silence that made you rather uncomfortable because well…they just stopped talking. Those moments will become more frequent and make you realize how nice silence can be. And don’t worry, when loners get quiet, it usually means we’re observing you. You’ll get used to it…eventually.
  3. You can find peace in the most interesting things. Loners are able to find solitude in many places besides their own room. You learn that the hole-in-the-wall noodle shop or the small garden in the back of your college campus that almost no one knows about, can be great places to take a break from life and reflect.
  4. You can’t buy happiness. When things like loneliness and sadness hit, most people tend to look at H&M or a bag of doritos as a source of comfort and happiness. But loners know all too well that you can’t buy happiness. Since we master the concept of being alone to our advantage, you learn to accept it for what it is as well which gives you the much needed opportunity to work through it.
  5. Worrying about what others think is absolutely pointless. Since we loners are alone 90% of the time, we avoid the occasional drama that comes with having many friends which can cause us to develop apathy towards shit-talking. It won’t be long until you gain the same attitude because yeah, I think everyone gets over twitter drama pretty easily.
  6. Confidence is key. Most people may believe that loners lack confidence, but when you spend time with one, you realize that’s not the case. I mean, c’mon, it takes a lot of Gryffindor courage to prefer a lifetime of solitude. Because we loners don’t care for what others think of us, we live life freely with confidence and we all know how contagious confidence is, am I right?
  7. Speak your mind. Being friends with a loner means you do most of the talking, especially during those moments of silence. You learn to eventually speak your mind and not be so conscious of what to say and when to say it.
  8. There are gems in your neighborhood. Hanging out with a loner teaches you the gems in your neighborhood you never noticed before like the Lolita themed café in the corner or that cupcake shop down the street. You learn to appreciate your neighborhood more when you chill with us.
  9. It’s okay to love yourself. Being friends with a loner can teach you the harsh reality that you have to love yourself first before loving others. Loners understand from a life of solitude that you don’t have to depend on others to love who you are. We learn to be kinder to ourselves and will teach you to do the same as well.