You know that Bruno Mars song “Just The Way You Are?” Well, it sounds cheesy as hell, but that song brings up a great point. Girl — or boy — you’re amazing, just the way you are. Even most seemingly happy people need to be reminded of this sometimes.
And when things are looking down, it can be hard to remember that you’re amazing. But it gets even harder when you agonize over comparing yourself to this person and that person, thinking they’re better than you, wishing you were as pretty as them or as successful as them, or as charming as they are.
Embrace your amazingness by learning to stop comparing yourself to any of these people. Life isn’t a race and it’s not a contest. There are no winners. And wherever you are right now in your life, it’s exactly where you need to be.
Have you ever apologized to your parents for being their “problem child?” Have you ever felt like a personal failure because your siblings are successful and independent while you feel like somehow you’re miles and miles behind them? It’s completely normal to feel that way, but you’ve got to try and stop. Your siblings are your siblings and your parents are your parents. You’re not giving yourself enough credit by thinking of yourself as a failure in comparison to them or by knowing that your parents would never look at you that way.
Your best friend.
If you’ve ever felt like your best friend is the one who’s “settling” by being best friends with you, then you need to stop comparing yourself to your BFF. You love them, so of course you see them as beautiful, funny, charming, and all-around awesome. But remember, you BFF probably sees you that way.
Your parents at your age.
Maybe by 24 your parents were already married, had successful careers, and bought their first house. Meanwhile, at 24 you’re single, still in college, and living with them. Don’t compare yourself to where you are in life versus where your parents were at the same age. First of all, it was a different time. The economy was a hell of a lot better back then, and things were a lot cheaper. And also, it doesn’t matter. Remember what we said about life not being a race?
You think you look like an absolute troll next to Jennifer Lawrence or that your body could never be as flawless and amazing as Karlie Kloss’, but you have to remember this: those celebrities have a team of stylists, trainers, and magical illusionists who make them look that way. And even if they didn’t, who are you to call yourself uglier than they are? That’s just not fair.
The easiest way to cause yourself stress at work is to start thinking of your coworkers as your competitors and judging your own self worth by comparing it to their success. You’re not opponents. You’re teammates. Just because your coworker is doing well doesn’t mean you’re not performing at the same level. And even if you’re not, then improve because you want to improve. Not because you want to be better than that person.
Your younger vision of your adult self.
When you were a kid, you thought you were going to be a rich movie star. Or even when you were a teenager, you thought you would be in a secure career or at least be more “settled down” and “figured out” than you actually ended up being at your current age. Don’t let that get to you. When we were children and teenagers, we had literally no idea what it meant to actually be an adult and how hard it can be. You can’t try to measure up to their unrealistic expectations. You’re doing the best you can and that’s all that matters.
Come on, why are you doing that to yourself?