You’re okay with being single. You are. It actually doesn’t bother you as much as you thought it might.
Until you end up being the only single friend in a squad of couples. That’s a little different…
- In the mornings, when they get cute good morning texts.
- But you get morning texts, too!
- (From your bank, about your account balance being too low.)
- On those especially cold nights when they’re cuddling with each other…
- And you have your $5 Target blanket and one of your BFF’s abandoned carnival prizes.
- Who do you have to win you carnival prizes?
- (Not that you can’t win yourself one, but it’s the principle of the thing.)
- Who are you supposed to kiss on New Year’s?
- The answer is absolutely no one, but all your friends get to make out, so that’s cool.
- It’s Valentine’s Day and all you want to do is go see a dumb movie.
- But all of your friends are on dates.
- Your BFF’s boyfriend bought her pastel roses and a cuddly teddy bear.
- You bought yourself a bag of Skittles.
- (For the movie that you’re going to, by yourself.)
- But wait! You’ve convinced at least one couple to go to the movies with you!
- And now they’re cuddling.
- You have no one to make ridiculous commentary to.
- When you go out to eat afterwards and the waiter asks how you’re splitting the bill.
- They fight over whose turn it is to pay.
- You pull out a $20 and wait.
- You all decide to go out to the club and your friends are grinding on the dancefloor.
- You’re standing at the bar, debating between stabbing yourself with your own stiletto…
- Or conning unattractive bar crawlers into paying attention to you.
- Every time you go somewhere, you end up sitting by yourself or in the corner –
- At the head of the table in restaurants…
- With a stranger on amusement park rides…
- Smooshed into a corner in the Uber…
- They think they’re being quiet while they drunkenly hook up in the next room over.
- Except, they’re not. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.
- You don’t know if you want an S.O. to get back at them or to run away.
- When you end up taking your sister to any event that involves a plus one.
- Slow dances involve you sitting at the bar and avoiding all eye-contact.
- Every single time you end up at a place with one of those little photo booth things.
- All of their photos are kissy faces and nose touching.
- All of yours are you and the empty seat next to you.
- (Or, even better, you and them.)
- That one time they were wearing matching clothing.
- You don’t want someone to match with, too…
- No, you needed someone to throw up about it
- Unfortunately, you’ve whined and complained so much they’re trying to set you up with people now.
- Suddenly, every Christmas party has way too much mistletoe.
- And not enough places for you to hide.
- They’re not interested in making out on the dancefloor anymore.
- Now, they’re at the bar, chatting you up to unattractive bar crawlers.
- If there was a moment you desperately wished you weren’t the only single friend…
- This is it.