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44 Things Only Your Best Friend Can Tell You

A best friend is nothing if not honest. Sometimes brutally so. It is the holy duty of a best friend to be gentle but firm when judging your atrocious dating/fashion/life choices, and to be real when asking you for ridiculous favors that you wouldn’t do for anyone else.

But you love your BFF more than anything in this world, and there are certain things they can say to you that no one else ever could:

  1. He’s never gonna text you back.
  2. I need you to come to this event that you will not enjoy, because I don’t want to be alone there.
  3. You need to put on deodorant.
  4. You can’t pull off that outfit.
  5. I will find you an outfit that you can pull off.
  6. He’s a f*ccboi and you know it.
  7. That hairstyle is not ideal for your head shape.
  8. Stop whining and quit your job already.
  9. You need to take down that unflattering picture of me immediately.
  10. You need to take down that unflattering picture of yourself immediately.
  11. You need to make an effort to stop dating sociopaths.
  12. No more drinks for you tonight.
  13. That’s not a good idea for a tattoo.
  14. know that you’re not “just friends” with your ex.
  15. Can I send you a pic of the weird thing on my foot?
  16. Your diet is too extreme and you need to eat real food.
  17. You need to CALM DOWN.
  18. You need to be MORE EXCITED.
  19. I don’t know who this famous person is, and you need to tell me so I don’t embarrass myself.
  20. Wait, I need to tell you about this highly disturbing sex dream I had last night!
  21. He’s not that cute and I don’t know why you’re into him.
  22. Aaaaand you just turned into your mother.
  23. I know you’re on a diet, but you need to eat this pizza with me because I’m sad.
  24. You need another drink.
  25. Your friend is a total civilian, but I’m going to try to be nice to her for you.
  26. PLEASE DUMP THIS CREEP.
  27. Ok, I’m sending you our text history so you can help me compose my next text, this is SERIOUS.
  28. What’s the third day of your period like?
  29. Does this look normal?
  30. What’s that one thing I like?
  31. I know you think you’re a Rachel, but really you’re a Phoebe.
  32. You have just crossed the line from Facebook stalking to actual stalking.
  33. Go like my new profile pic.
  34. I just saw my ex, and now you have to leave this party with me.
  35. You’re being dramatic. That’s my thing.
  36. I’m not letting you look up his new girlfriend.
  37. Stop being an idiot, you’re obviously beautiful.
  38. I know it’s 3am, but do you want to come over to my place for mac and cheese?
  39. Your texting is weird.
  40. Oh I told this guy you’re my girlfriend, hope that’s ok.
  41. You need to sleep.
  42. You need to get up earlier.
  43. Your social media presence is concerning.
  44. That’s a terrible idea. Let’s do it.