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34 Things Every Scatterbrain Has In Her Purse

Most women can’t go anywhere without their purse.  For one thing, it’s full of necessities like car keys, credit cards, and money, but having your purse is also something of a security blanket.  Just knowing that there’s about a hundred other things inside that you might need at any given moment is comforting.  It’s your Mary Poppins bag.  It’ll always have exactly what you need.

But finding what you need is another issue entirely, because girls can become extremely scatterbrained about the contents of their purse.  Stuff accumulates in there so fast, you barely know it’s happening…until one day you peer inside and see all of these things and more.

  1. Six different packs of gum.
  2. A layer of flattened receipts on the bottom.
  3. Mints that you’ve been saving from restaurants.
  4. Ticket stubs.
  5. Business cards drifting around haphazardly.
  6. A wallet overflowing with receipts and store loyalty cards.
  7. More lip gloss than any one person could ever need.
  8. A pair of socks.
  9. Several pounds worth of coins.
  10. A granola bar.
  11. A pen and several highlighters.
  12. Mascara.
  13. A mini bottle of Tylenol.
  14. A tangled phone charging cord.
  15. Mail you’ve been meaning to respond to.
  16. A program from the last wedding you went to.
  17. A months-old shopping list.
  18. A lighter, even if you’ve never smoked once in your life.
  19. Two pairs of sunglasses.
  20. A third pair of sunglasses that you can never find and swear you lost.
  21. A wrinkled 20 dollar bill you forgot to put in our wallet and now is lost to the chaos at the bottom of your bag.
  22. More gum.
  23. Body spray.
  24. Lotion, most likely from Bath and Body Works.
  25. Deodorant.  Just in case.
  26. Feminine hygiene products.  Unless you actually need them, in which case they’ll be mysteriously absent.
  27. Candy and snack wrappers.
  28. A small pile of bobby pins.
  29. A paperback book you’ve been meaning to give back to your aunt forever.
  30. Hair ties.
  31. Unopened blisters of mystery medicine.
  32. Chapstick.
  33. A nail file.
  34. More lip gloss.