33 Thoughts You Have At Any Summer Music Festival

Summer is here, which means it’s time for the season of music festivals!  So, put on some clothes you don’t mind sweating profusely in, shoes you don’t mind getting mud all over, and grab a bag that you can hide as much booze inside as possible.  You might also consider getting a pair of earplugs too, because your ears will be ringing when it’s over, if not because of the music, because of all the huge, loud crowds of people.

Whether you actually dig going to music festivals or just got dragged there by your friends because there’s nothing better to do, then you know it’s always a rather interesting place.  People of all kinds gather in a big, sweaty group, and you’re left to wander around and observe it all.  Chances are, your thoughts go something like this:

  1. “There are so many women in flower crowns here.”
  2. “Where do you even find flower crowns if you want to buy one?”
  3. “God, I hate the smell of patchouli.”
  4. “Judging by everyone around me, I’m not nearly drunk enough to be here.”
  5. “Is that chick topless?  I’m not going to complain.”
  6. “There’s nothing like being able to hear three different bands playing at the same time to really give you a migraine, huh?”
  7. “Are those 14-year-old kids seriously trying to start a mosh pit?”
  8. “My feet hurt.  Why are there no chairs?”
  9. “Oh god, I can’t find my friends.”
  10. “If I can’t find them, I’m going to be stuck in this festival forever.”
  11. “There they are.  Over by the mile-long line of Porta Potties.
  12. “I would rather pee in my pants than go in one of those poop capsules.”
  13. “Pretty sure that couple is engaging in intimate relations over by that tree.”
  14. “Do I look or do I ignore it?”
  15. “Everyone else is looking, so it’s probably okay for me to look.”
  16. “I really wish I hadn’t looked.”
  17. “I can smell weed, but I don’t see it.  Where are they hiding it?”
  18. “Does every band these days have to feature someone playing the ukulele?”
  19. “I guess it doesn’t matter, I can’t hear anything but bass.”
  20. “Do all these guys with their shirts off know how badly they’re going to get sunburned?”
  21. “I feel like someone should warn them.”
  22. “I suppose all that goofy body paint will offer some protection.  Maybe.”
  23. “Whose idea was it to have outdoor music playing during the hottest time of the year?”
  24. “It is nice when you reach that point where you’re so sweaty, you don’t even notice anymore.”
  25. “Plus, the smell of patchouli and weed covers up the stench of 30,000 people with B.O.”
  26. “I want to go home.”
  27. “Oh, is that the one band I kind of wanted to see?”
  28. “Too bad I can’t get closer than a quarter mile from the stage.”
  29. “It’s also too bad that every semi-hot chick has to have her boyfriend hoist her onto their shoulders so she can try to get more attention.”
  30. “Maybe if I was a hot chick, I’d be able to get closer to the stage.”
  31. “Well, this is kind of cool.  They’re playing that one song I like and I can hear most of it over the other bands.”
  32. “If I get bopped in the head with a beach ball one more time….”
  33. “Screw this, I’m out of here.”