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24 Life Hacks For The Supremely Lazy

Let’s be real about something, okay?  When it comes to people who don’t like to do an awful lot, there’s lazy and then there’s seriously lazy.  Everyone is lazy, at least sometimes.  On Saturday when you don’t feel like doing anything but lie on the couch in your pajamas, or at work when you just pretend to be busy while watching skateboard fail videos with the volume turned down.  It happens to all of us.  That’s lazy.

But then there’s seriously lazy.  These are the kind of people who will do just about anything to avoid doing just about anything.  There’s an awful lot of planning and sacrifice that goes into that kind of slothful existence.  It’s not something that just anyone can do.

These are some of the life hacks of the seriously lazy people.  They won’t ever make you feel like a proud, contributing member of society, but they will save you from having to do stuff, and that’s the most important thing.

  1. Talk less.  Why use more words when fewer words will do?
  2. Learn how to shove your foot into your shoe and you’ll never have to untie or tie the laces again.
  3. CTRL + F is your best friend when you’re looking for something specific in a huge wall of text.
  4. Brush your teeth while you shower.  That way, you spend less time on your feet, doing boring hygiene stuff.
  5. Keep small objects next to your bed, so if you forget to turn off the lights, you can throw them at the light switch instead of getting out of bed.
  6. Need to microwave something for 10 seconds?  Microwave it for nine seconds instead.  One less button to press.
  7. Two words: dry shampoo.
  8. If you’re ordering take-out, order a whole bunch.  That way, your leftovers will feed you for the rest of the week, no effort required.
  9. Skim and find relevant quotes rather than do all the assigned reading from class.
  10. Ladies, if you wear dresses, you don’t have to wear pants.  It saves you a step getting dressed, and it’s just nice to go pants-less.
  11. Don’t make your bed.  Why would you make your bed?
  12. Better yet, if you just don’t get out of bed, you never have to make it.
  13. Buy remote controlled light bulbs.  They’ll save you from ever having to get up and turn them on or off.
  14. Guys, pee sitting down so you don’t have to clean the toilet as often.
  15. Live by the mantra, “If you can’t reach it, you don’t need it.”
  16. Get a crock pot.  Throw food inside and let it cook all day.  It’s dinner with zero effort.
  17. Get bigger trash cans so you don’t have to empty them as often.
  18. Find a grocery store that delivers.
  19. Use tortillas as plates.  That way you can eat the plate, rather than wash it.
  20. Buy sippy cups.  You can use them to drink while lying down and not spill all over yourself.
  21. Guys, just grow a beard.  No one has time for daily shaving.
  22. Learn to enjoy a variety of TV shows in case you can’t find the remote to change the channel.
  23. Put in hard work when you absolutely have to, and it will allow you to be lazier later.
  24. Just…don’t do anything