16 Signs You’re Trying To Get Your Life Together For 2019 But Like, It’s Hard

The problem with life is it’s one big Catch-22. I feel like I’m in a constant limbo between wanting to get my shit together, and life’s too short so fuck it Ima do whatever.

  1. Your whole life is basically the episode of Friends where Ross drinks all those margaritas and keeps telling everyone that he’s fine when he clearly isn’t.
  2. You try not to go back to your ex but like, after seeing what else is out there you’re just like “fuck it” – fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, you must be really good in bed and I respect that.
  3. You try to go on a diet and manage to be strong for 3 days but then you get back home from a night out and eat everything in your fridge and then order pizza.
  4. You try to be strong and move on by not spying on fuckboy but like, you have to check up on him to make sure he still sucks. Btw he does.
  5. You in the evening: I’m waking up super early and working out and getting all my work done!!! I will conquer my life! You in the morning: never mind.
  6. You – How do you wake up so early? Friend – I don’t know my body just wakes up at 6 am and I can’t go back to sleep. You – wtf.
  7. The only way to stop yourself from making terrible decisions is to not shave that night.
  8. On some days you’re extremely focused on all your career development and future goals. Other days you’re just like, I want to quit and become a housewife and bake shit.
  9. Every weekend you’re stuck between, I need to get my life together and wake up early to figure out how taxes work and like go to the gym, and should I just go to that rave because life’s too short and I just want to make bad choices and dance like a stripper whose rent is due tomorrow.
  10. You handle your problems like this: Friend – can we talk? You – Hang on. *1 hour later* Alright I’m drunk what’s up
  11. You have so much stuff to do that you decide to take a Buzzfeed quiz, ‘What Type Of Penis Would You Be?’
  12. You get ‘The Whopper.’
  13. You read all those self-improvement articles like ‘How To Take Your Life Back When You’re Broken’ and you’re like, I can’t even go to the grocery store without getting tired and ordering a pizza.
  14. You read the part about saying goodbye to your phone and social media addiction and spending more time with nature, and you seriously think about it for a full minute.
  15. …But then your phone rings and it’s your best friend telling you the plans for the evening so you’re just like, haha let’s get drunk.
  16. You’re out and know you should probably go home and make good life choices, but that thought quickly gets trumped by the fact that you’re with your friends and you know that nothing in the world will make you happier, anyway.