Selfies. Like a widespread epidemic, selfies have penetrated our population and taken control of countless lives.
While they’re not all bad, there are many times that they are just ways for people to make themselves feel important, draw attention to themselves, or worse—brag. Sadly, many people don’t realize that they are even doing this, blissfully unaware of the way others are perceiving them.
Here’s what sort of selfies you take is saying about you:
- Gym Selfie: Yes, we get it. You work out. Good for you. But if you are posting these every. Single. Day… It can be a teensy bit annoying to others. And it’s not because they are jealous, but because we don’t need to know about it every time that you do it. Every once in a while if it makes you feel good then so be it. But daily doses of you in your workout gear is by no means necessary. Unless you are a professional body builder or a fitness model. But if you aren’t getting paid or winning awards for working out then it’s a hobby, not a profession. Just FYI.
- Duck Lip Selfie: Ah, so did you get JUVÉDERM® injections in your lips recently? Most likely the answer to this is no. So then why are you making your lips look like that? Kinda makes me wonder if ducks would sit around making human lips when posing for photos. Just saying.
- Wasted Selfies: Most people do not look flattering when they are completely hammered, so save yourself the embarrassment and stop doing this now. You may not remember it, but you’ll be thankful later.
- Serious Face Selfie: Why so serious? For God’s sake smile or something. Somber selfies look like mugshots and are scary. Show some emotion, you’ll be okay I promise.
- I Look So Hot From This Angle Selfie: Okay, so twisted like a pretzel you do look “like so skinny??? but is that really natural? Just be yourself! Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
- Zoolander face selfie: You are not “fierce??? and we don’t need to see you striking a pose. Unless you are a supermodel. Real models get paid to get their picture taken and usually don’t have to resort to taking their own. And I’m going to say that chances are that you aren’t a supermodel and just a normal chick like everyone else. Besides, being natural is a lot better, and not so rehearsed. Plus, it kinda looks like you are smelling a fart… from the other person’s perspective.
- Eating Selfie: No one looks good shoveling food into their mouth. Unless you’ve got a fetish for that sort of thing. Yucky.
- Group Selfie: See, here’s the winning ticket. It’s not just you, and if you don’t have anyone else to take the pic how else are you going to cram everyone in? Score.
- 10,000x selfie with a kid: Your poor child and I are both wishing you would stop making them take these photos to boost your self-confidence. Same goes for people with their pets. #childabuse #animalabuse
- Pretty background selfie: If you’re at a cool museum, attraction, or place of interest this is fine. But if your background is totally boring (bathroom, bedroom, etc.) what is it that you are really trying to show off… other than yourself??
- Enhanced, Filtered, Edited Selfie: GUYS HATE THESE, ladies. Just be you. Because as much as you think they don’t notice, they do.
- Totally Awkward Selfie: You are at a funeral. Please don’t take photos there. Have some respect. Same goes for hospitals, cemeteries, etc. Because if that person could come back to life and slap the crap out of you, they certainly would.