It’s 7 am, well, no…let’s be more realistic here…it’s approaching 11am and you haven’t moved a damn muscle. It still looks like midnight in your bedroom because the sun is just barely creeping through your window. Has this bed gotten more comfortable over the past eight hours or have you been that desperate for a good night’s sleep? Please have someone cancel the rest of your day because reality doesn’t stand a chance against this.
1. Hello? World? Is that you?
For a generous ten minutes or so you lay there without moving, contemplating if you’re still in one piece and if you have to continue on with life today.
2. Ahhh, what a beautiful day.
Really, the weather is gorgeous, well what you can see of it from that tiny crack in your pitch black curtains. Fortunately, you have a decent size window and a pretty okay view of the world from this exact spot – atop four pillows and under three blankets.
3. Why is this so damn comfortable.
Why is it that mornings are always sooooo much more comfortable?! Maybe last night you could not sleep – your back hurt, the pillows would not lay right but now, WOW, this is amazing. Effortlessly intertwined with your cat, dog, better half or last night’s mistake (shit). But it is clear they feel the same way you do so, goodnight, again.
4. How about…tomorrow.
Fuck today, everything can wait until tomorrow. Maybe not everything..but yes, everything.
5. Ten more minutes.
Please, just ten more minutes. I can be a little late today, right? It’s like iPhone snooze options were meant to royally fuck you over because WHOOPS, there goes an hour.
6. Oh, right. You were already late yesterday.
Sorry, sorry, it won’t happen again (sike).
7. Netflix.
Wow, Netflix is still streaming Friends from last night. You don’t even have to get up to turn it back on. Amazing. Truly amazing.
8. Coffee.
Coffee, you probably need coffee. Okay….who in this house/apartment is making coffee you smell coffee you need coffee you must have coffee someone please bring you coffee.
9. Is this a dream?
You curse the day you became an adult (debatable) and had to take on responsibility like a normal, functioning member of society.
10. UGH.
“Uggghhhhhhhh,” is the sound accompanying each and every one of your subtle and painful movements as you finally and ungracefully roll yourself out of bed. Onward!