“Never let anyone disturb your composure, deter your accomplishment, or destroy your happiness.” – Anonymous
1. Know when to walk away.
I truly believe that the moment we start accepting bullshit is the moment we start falling out of love with our lives. Investing our time and energy into something or someone who isn’t offering respectable returns is a recipe for falling out of love with ourselves – and then our lives.
In order to fall back in love with our lives, we have to let go of certain things that we’re wasting our precious energy on; we have to know when we’re being taken advantage of and when to walk away from people who aren’t appreciating us.
Having a very low tolerance for crap enables us to walk away when we need to and therefore use all our energy to build the new, to innovate the lives we actually want to live.
2. Stop accepting half-ass commitments.
You give too much to receive an “almost.?? You offer too much to waste your precious time with someone who gives you almost what you need – someone who is not yet ready for love, who is afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to commit fully.
Never accept that romance is dead or that people don’t fully commit anymore. It’s only dead for those who accept “almost” – who don’t know how love or commitment looks like, sounds like, feels like.
3. Don’t take bullshit excuses.
Often “almost?? relationships come with excuses. Don’t accept any bullshit – that he’s too “complicated” or “just being honest” or scared because he likes you too much. No.
Bottom line is if you don’t mean enough to someone for them to make the effort to be with you fully – they shouldn’t get any of you. #Bye.
4. Never abandon your needs.
It’s very normal to abandon your needs in a toxic relationship in the effort to keep it. But when that happens, we hand over our whole self-worth and significance to another person, and before we know it our mood and happiness becomes entirely dependent on them.
This is also when we start to fall out of love with ourselves, and then our lives. The truth is you’re going to be more than okay – there is so much light and happiness ahead if you chose to let go and walk away from people who are not appreciating you.
5. Don’t play the victim.
People sometimes suck and life gets kind of complicated. And no matter what anyone says – we’re all kinda lost in this whole life ordeal, we’ve all been through some shit. But we’re not victims. We’re in total control of how we react to a situation.
When things got tough, just roll up your sleeves and get tougher. People will be shitty – and you have to understand that people’s shittiness is almost always much more about them than it is about you. You can’t let other people’s thoughts and actions affect you so much; you are only responsible for yourself.
If you don’t feel happy around a person, if this person doesn’t support you or lift you up, don’t spend time with them. It really is that simple.
6. Stop dwelling on the past.
You cannot move forward with your life with one foot on the brakes. Refuse to entertain your old pain. We all do the best we can; life happens and certain painful experiences will shape you and teach you much more than a happily ever after ever could.
Understand that some love is meant to change your life rather than give you someone to grow old with – when your heart is broken open, new light gets in. Embrace it. The energy it takes to hang on to the past can hold you back from falling in love with your life right now.
7. Make room for surprises.
Stop controlling every last aspect of your life; let go of how things are “supposed to be.?? Maybe you didn’t get your perfect ending, but you will get something so much better.
Some of the best stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about making the best of each moment because we really don’t know what will happen next. Say yes to things that you would normally never say yes to – that road trip, party, date. You’d be surprised at how much people can surprise you.
8. Don’t get caught up with being “perfect.??
In the words of Michael Jordan, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.??
Jordan was really onto something; when we are afraid to lose or fail, we pull back from life. That’s why successful people are successful; there’s no big secret – they just keep going. If we stop being afraid to fail, and we do we keep we’ll be unconquerable.
9. Make room for amazing people.
If you communicate your needs and set boundaries with someone and they don’t respect them; it’s time to move on from that person and move forward.
It is not enough to know that deep down, someone cares. They can’t just say the words – they need to execute them, with actions, consistency, commitment. Being hot and cold doesn’t mean they’re mysterious or enigmatic – it means they almost care enough, but they’re not ready for it.
There are too many amazing people that will treat you right and understand your value for you to waste your time with someone who almost does – make room for those amazing people.
10. Stop comparing.
Don’t compete with other people, empower them. You’d be surprised at how many people are fighting a battle you know nothing about. While comparing can sometimes be a good thing – like when it sparks and inspires you to innovate something in your own life – often comparing turns into trying to measure up to something that just does not fucking exist.
We often make ourselves miserable until we get these perfect lives and relationships that we think we see – all the while failing to understand that “perfection?? is imperfect. You never know what is going to make your soul alive.
Inspire people around you to be strong and to ignite in their passions – if you work on leaving everything and everyone better than you found them, you will be surprised at how quickly you will fall back in love with yourself – and then your life.