Throughout your life, you are going to lose friends who you thought would be apart of your life forever. From childhood, all the way into adulthood, things change. You’re not going to be the same person you were when you were a child—and, people sometimes grow apart. There’s nothing wrong with having some distance between you and people you once held close to you.
I grew up in a small neighborhood where everyone knew your business. Once I got older, I put some distance between myself and the people I grew up with—I didn’t want their judgments and negative attitudes involved in my growth. For whatever reason, a lot of my childhood friends and I grew apart—I cut them out of my life. While some were mutual, not all of them were. Having to decide to cut someone out of your life is a seriously difficult decision to make. But, sometimes, walking away from toxic people will benefit you more than it will hurt you.
There are some situations in which cutting people out of your life completely—friends, family, significant others—is a necessary decision. At the end of the day, putting you first is the most important part of personal growth.
1. They no longer support you or your dreams.
Sometimes, when you’re excelling in life faster than other people – they get jealous. They aren’t happy to see you doing well, while they’re at a standstill, trying to figure out just what to do with their life. They start to challenge your dreams, your ambition and make you feel guilty for not being so available for them.
This makes you almost second guess yourself – wondering if what you’re doing is the right thing. Never let someone else’s insecurities alter what you see for yourself. Do not let anyone stand in the way of building your own empire.
2. You can’t trust them anymore.
Once trust is broken, it’s incredibly hard to build it back up. It can start small, as someone not keeping a secret – or big, as someone betraying you harshly. If you ever feel as though you cannot trust someone, you shouldn’t have to feel guilty about moving on from this person.
You don’t want to be surrounded by people you have to walk on eggshells with or be on your toes for.
3. They are too negative.
Energy does not lie and energy is contagious. The more negativity you surround yourself with, the more negative you will become. You don’t want to be around someone who is constantly the Debby Downer of your life. You don’t need to be around someone who is always looking at the glass half empty.
The more you put negativity into your world, the more negative it will become. Separate yourself from anyone who makes you feel like you are being held down or held back.
4. They take more than they give.
Every relationship and friendship is a two-way street. At times, you may give more than you take, other times, you may take more than you give. But, if someone in your life is always taking and never giving – making you put in all the effort and never raising a finger, you’re being taken advantage of.
No one should ever be given enough power to treat you as though you are only there to serve or please them. If someone makes you feel as though you are not enough of a priority to make as much effort, leave.
5. They are no longer the person you once knew.
People change over time—it’s inevitable. As we age, we grow into different people with different priorities and needs. While change is okay, if someone in your life has changed for the worse instead of the better, and, you no longer recognize them – you can distance yourself from them. You don’t want to be around people who have bad habits and perpetuate that kind of behavior.
Be strong enough to know that walking away will do them more help than harm.