The holidays are a great time of year! Presents, parties, dinners… and family. Lots and lots of family.
Many of us will be traveling home this month and shacking up with our parents again. Lying in our twin size bed under Little Mermaid sheets, we just have to think about all of those awful things we have done under our parent’s roof!
1. Poor Granny,
“My grandma walked in on me giving my boyfriend a blow job.???
2. Cold, wet, AND naked!
“My parents have a Jacuzzi off the back porch, so when they were out visiting friends my boyfriend and I decided to skinny dip. But my parents came home early and walked into the house right as we were streaking butt naked up to my room. AWKWARD.???
3. That’s one cool mama!
“I drank a little over half a gallon of Fireball the night I graduated. Needless to say, I don’t remember that night at all. I woke up on the bathroom floor with my mom standing over me going through my phone and laughing at last night’s drunk selfies with friends.
Luckily, she’s pretty awesome and just handed me Aspirin and left me to suffer the worst hangover in peace.???
4. Must have been one hell of a workout…
“After having sex with my bf at the time, I threw my back out (I was only 22). It wasn’t even enough time to put my shirt back on. My bf went downstairs to tell my mom that I couldn’t move and we were pretty sure I threw my back out. That was embarrassing.???
5. …or will they?
“I live away for college, but I visit a lot, and every time I go I usually bring something of my mom’s or my sister’s closet without letting them know. There’s no harm, they’ll get it back in a few months right????
6. Just. Gross.
“Mom found my vibrator post use.???
7. When ANY excuse will do…
“We’re getting it in on the couch, my boyfriend is on top of me. Then my parents come home from the grocery store while we are mid-cum. We pretended that I was popping a painful zit- which is why he was making those noises.???
8. Who steals a vibrator!?
“My boyfriend bought me a new vibrator and I was pretty excited. I put it in a safe place where I would remember to grab it before I went back to university. When I went to grab it- the vibrator was gone! I’m pretty sure either my mom or sister stole it… but I don’t want to know.???
“His dad was on the roof and saw us lying naked through the window and he knocked on it.???
10. Yea, they probably knew…
“My mom and dad both opened the door while I was masturbating- under the covers (thank God!) You could hear the vibrator and I was reading some dirty stories on my phone.
I couldn’t decide whether to turn off the vibrator and they would know, or if they would just think the humming was the fan. I just left it on and had a conversation with my parents while masturbating.
It was pretty awkward, and I don’t know if they knew… (they probably did).???
11. Sometimes you just need the essentials.
“I steal leftovers and toilet paper!???
12. Some items do NOT need to see the light of day!
“While on vacation, the cleaning ladies found my vibrator behind my nightstand and for some reason they set it on top of my desk for my whole family to see. Which they did.???
13. We love this dad!
“I forgot to clean out my bedside drawer when I left for college. My dad texted me a couple weeks later asking if I would like the handcuffs and condoms mailed to me so I could use them at school. FML.???