I know that things have not been easy lately, trust me, if anyone knows it’s me. The truth is, I haven’t been myself lately. In fact, I’ve been the furthest from myself that I’ve ever been. Some days, I feel like I’m not even in my own body and am, instead, a ghost sitting in the room, watching my life drift past me as I stand idly in a corner. There are moments where I feel as though I could crawl out of my own skin, uncomfortable to even live in the notion of reality. Others where I feel I am drowning and gasping for air. No, it hasn’t been easy.
But, despite all of my struggles and disastrous days, you have been the light at the end of my cold, dark, desolate tunnel every single day.
From every phone call to check up on me, to every text message during the day—the endless emojis, tagging me in memes to make me laugh. To all of the big things you’ve done, like helping me find a new therapist, talking me off a ledge, trying to find the good when everything seems so, so bad.
You have shown me that there are no limits when it comes to love. That when someone is family, that means you never turn your back on them—no matter how annoying their negativity may get. You listened to me cry over the smallest of things, and never told me to just “get over it.” You find time in your busy schedule to make sure that I know there is someone out there who wants to know that I’m okay.
Depression is not easy, and it’s not something you signed up for. It’s hard to imagine we were the girls running around the city, endlessly looking for fun at one point—and now, I struggle to put a smile on my face. But, no matter how bad things have gotten, you never left.
Thank you for all of the calls.
Thank you for all of the texts.
Thank you for all of the time.
Thank you for all of your friendship.