So, you like a guy a lot and you’ve been seeing him for a few weeks and you want to take the next step. Everytime you muster up the swallowed deep down courage to ask him that bold question of “what are we,” he seems to always have a different excuse.
“I don’t want to rush into things.”
“Why ruin what we have now?”
“Labels are stupid, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”
“I’m not ready for a serious commitment.”
No matter what the response is if it’s anything other than, “will you be my girlfriend,” it’s a straight-up excuse.
So often, women are stuck in purgatory wondering why the guy they’re fawning over doesn’t want them back. No matter how many gifts you buy him, how many breakfasts in bed you make him, or how many oral pleasures you perform on him—if a guy doesn’t want to make you his girlfriend, he will give you just about any reason he can come up with as to why it’s a bad idea. The excuses come so often that, in time, women start to believe that they’re true.
“Maybe rushing things is a bad idea.”
“I love what we have now, I don’t want to ruin it, either.”
“Labels are stupid, they’re just for show and society.”
“Maybe a serious commitment is a lot to take on right now.”
If you’ve found yourself in this position. Stop, take a breath.
The truth of the matter is, the guy who you’re in love with that doesn’t want to make you his girlfriend is never going to be honest with you—nor is he ever going to tell you that you should stop seeing each other because you want more and he doesn’t. Why?
Because you’ve given him all the things a relationship would, without having the label.
More likely than not, you’ve acted like a “girlfriend” to this guy. Don’t be ashamed—most women who are interested in a relationship with someone jump the gun and act as though they are in a relationship, even without the label. This, however, is a dangerous place to be. Not only are you giving away all the goods before you got yourself a commitment, but you’ve also shown him that you will settle for being treated as temporary. If you want a commitment from someone, you need to hold back and save yourself—your loving, caring, and understanding tendencies—for when he finally commits to you.
In the generation where everyone is “seeing someone,” and “casually talking to someone,” it’s hard to find a person who will truly settle down with you to start something real. That’s why women need to lift their standards when it comes to what they will and will not tolerate. If you’re seeing someone and they give you one of those old excuses—know that you deserve better. There are men out there who will work for what you have to offer. And, don’t just give it away to any average Joe who can’t mutter the words “girlfriend.”
Ladies, know what you bring to the table and never be afraid to eat alone.