However, there are a few good general rules of thumb to follow if you want to find your best chance at a healthy, happy relationship. With that in mind, here are some basic types of guys to avoid if you want to steer clear of tepid, unfulfilling relationships:
7. The guy who doesn’t like it if you’re funnier/smarter/more successful than he is.
Bottom line: a partner should be proud of your successes and accomplishments, and should encourage you to shine at all times. Only guys who are insecure in their masculinity are threatened by a woman who is their intellectual equal — and that’s a pretty outdated way to go about relationships.
If he tends to bristle when you crack a successful joke in front of his friends, or when you beat him at Trivial Pursuit, then maybe it’s time to turn around and walk away.
6. The guy with zero ambition.
You fell for him because he seemed so chill and cool — but somehow, being “chill” and “cool” has turned into him living with his parents, occasionally delivering pizza, and smoking weed while he plays video games all day. And the worst part? He doesn’t seem to have any desire to move forward in life or change his circumstances.
While it’s totally relatable to find yourself stuck in a rut, that doesn’t mean you need to date somebody who’s stuck in a rut. If anything, you might be making them complacent. Not only that, but a guy who’s too lazy to do anything about his future is probably too lazy to ultimately put any work into the relationship.
5. The guy who likes to keep his options open.
Sowing your wild oats is all good and well, but we’ve found ourselves in an age where that’s all anyone seems to be doing. Thanks to dating apps, there’s always another option around the corner—so nobody’s compelled to put in the effort necessary to make a relationship work.
If you’re with some guy who refuses to define your relationship or to be exclusive when you want to be, then I’m here to tell you right now: he’s not going to miraculously change overnight and decide that he wants to be in a committed relationship. So, if you’re not into that kind of dynamic, stop deluding yourself and delete his number from your phone.
4. The guy who’s rude to waitstaff.
Okay, this is weirdly specific, but it’s perhaps the easiest barometer for measuring whether or not someone is an actual human trash fire. If he’s snippy with your server or getting fussy with the bartender, it doesn’t bode well for how critical and high-maintenance he’s going to be in the relationship.
3. The guy who lets you pay for everything.
Sure, it’s nice to take turns paying for things, especially if neither one of you is a Rockefeller. However, if occasionally going Dutch has quickly become you paying for pretty much everything, that’s a toxic dynamic. Even if you can afford to be the moneybags in the relationship, it’s not doing you any favors to establish that kind of power imbalance. What’s more, the situation could easily turn into him using you and taking you for granted.
2. The guy who cheated on someone to be with you.
There are certainly stories of happy relationships which began as affairs. Unfortunately, most of those are actually fiction, and the majority of relationships that begin with cheating also end with cheating. While it’s true that you can’t really help falling in love with someone, breaking up a relationship isn’t an auspicious beginning to a real-life romance. If someone was willing to cheat on their past significant other, then what’s to stop them from cheating on you?
If your paths happen to cross again when you’re both single, then mazel tov — but don’t stir sh*t in someone else’s relationship, because it will definitely come back to give you a karmic kick in the ass.
1. The guy you’re dating just because you can.
He’s nice. He’s fairly reliable. You don’t have that much in common. And you’re pretty much only dating him because he was willing and available.
While it might seem practical to “settle” for a basic and dependable guy, doing so is likely to lead to resentment down the road when you realize that the two of you have very little in common. What’s worse is that it’s not doing him any favors, either, and is basically exploiting his kind nature so that you have a warm body to sleep next to at night.