I’m not a quitter. I love hard. I believed in you, in us, to the end. I couldn’t even fathom the idea of us apart. I refused to do so. I would not entertain the concept of my life without you.
I believed in us, I was determined, and that’s what made the the split so difficult, at first...I felt abandoned and powerless, like only you could save me then.
But I should have known better, sooner, when it came to us.
There were red flags at the beginning I never should have ignored. The little lies, the coldness in your voice when I disappointed you for the first time.
I pushed it all to the bottom of my mind and the bottom of my heart, and I shouldn’t have.
I should have paid closer attention to what the pain was telling me.
I was terrified of life without you...
I couldn’t imagine it. I told myself I wouldn’t get over you if I tried, because we were meant to be.
No matter what the trouble in the present, my mind was flooded with memories of us happy together, of the first day we met. Of the first time we kissed. Of how we held on for so long, and I never wanted to let go.
I was too stubborn for my own good... but my head feels clearer now.
It was like jumping off a boat in the middle of the ocean. I had no idea how I’d make it home.
But as the days passed, something really unexpected happened. A weight was lifted off my shoulders. And slowly I found myself.
I’ll always care for you, but we did the right thing to let each other go.
I wouldn’t have admitted it then, but we had our own paths to take. And I may not have wanted you to leave me at the time. But now I know it was all for the best.
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