Here is a little known fact about me. I hide in my shell way too often. It doesn’t always look like it, but it’s my go-to spot.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the observer. Only rarely am I the one in on the action. I don’t know why, I think I always felt like if I did, no one would want me there.
You changed that.
I’ve been lied to, ignored, and hurt before. I know the feelings of loneliness and isolation way too well! But unlike so many other people before you, you have never made me feel like this. Ever.
You’ve never given me a reason to believe that you couldn’t be trusted when I expected you would. I almost wanted you to because what we had was starting to feel like it was to be too good to be true.
In the beginning, I was so scared of how I was feeling. I thought it couldn’t be THAT easy to find someone like you. Like the movies tell us, you obviously have to go searching high and low for the person who would want to know you inside and out, listen to your crazy stories, and be there for you in every single way possible. I didn’t have to go far to find you though.
I didn’t think you’d want to hear my stories at first, so I just didn’t bring them up. But the more I didn’t talk, you made me. You asked me question after question, forcing me to open up to you.
No one had ever taken the time to get to know me like you did. I felt like the less you knew, the less I would be hurt when you left, which I assumed you would do.
But, you didn’t. There was literally nothing stupid or small I couldn’t tell you. You wanted to know it all. Every single piece.
It sounds simple, but for me, that was the biggest deal of all. My shell has become so thick over the years to where I wasn’t sure if anyone could get through to me, or even want to. You did in one fell swoop though, and you made it look extremely easy.
You made me want to open up to you like no one else I have ever known, and that isn’t an easy thing for me to say. Even the people who have known me forever still don’t know everything about me. Now, the one person who is getting to know every single part of me is you.
And I’m still not completely sure how you got me to completely trust you so fast. I have a hard time trusting people after everything I’ve been through. But there was always something different about you, and I knew if I started telling you things, you would listen. And you did.
It’s scary how well you listen to me. I know now that you hear every word I say and you remember it all because you care. It took me a very long time to realize that. I always worried that you would just leave when I opened up to you too much, but soon I knew that wasn’t happening. You were staying, whether I liked it or not.
And now that you’ve broken that shell of mine, it’s like a whole new me. I’m not worrying about my past anymore because it didn’t seem to bother you. And because of the way you were so patient with me, I’m finally beginning to see how I look in your eyes.
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