You told me that you thought we should just be friends for now… “really good friends.” I agreed because I knew that what we had didn't make sense with the distance. I knew it wasn't going to work the way that I wanted it to, but I forgot to tell you something that night on the phone. 

I forgot to tell you that I love you. That’s all. Just that I love you. And in my mind, that was enough. That would be the only thing that I would need to say to make you call more often. That is all I would have to tell you to make the distance worth it. I was so sure that is all that needed to be said… 

but I didn't say it. Instead, I smiled and nodded and threw in a fake laugh every now and then. Instead, I hung up. Confused and heart broken and a little bit short of air, I hung up the phone with the agreement that we would just be friends. 

But, we have never just been friends. Even when I didn't love you, I didn't like you as a friend. From the very beginning, our “friendship” was filled with the tension that comes when you know that you’re going to have something more with someone. From the very beginning, you were the boy that I could fall in love with one day, you were never just my friend.

 And you never will be…