Of the many things I take pride in, is the fact that I give a solid BJ (Or so I thought). I survived college loosely holding my virgin card and lost it in my senior year shortly before graduating. But I still went out and went home with guys but my cop out of sex was always blowing him.
I can count the number of people I’ve slept with on one hand. I can't count the number of dicks my mouth has crossed paths if we lined everyone up in a crowded room and they held their hands up, even then I don’t think I could come up with the right number.
Not only that but I think I’m one of the few girls in the world who actually enjoy giving head. You like what you are good at, they say. To me, there is something about being the one completely in control. And as a guy's eyes close and he moans, you know for however long it takes, that you have him at your whim.
And like a true perfectionist, I enjoy getting better at it. I’ve read every article, I’ve listened to guys critique me afterwards. And I’ve improved. I even dated someone in college solely to get better at it. He was my DD and I slept with him. It was like a sex tutor and free taxi ride all wrapped up in one douchebag with a 9 inch dick. But because of him, for a very long time I’ve been the most confident person when it came to the art of the dick.
But like any master, even we have moments where we fall short and don’t excel.
There I was newly seeing someone. And the week prior I had given him, “the best blowjob I have ever had. I’ve been thinking about it all week.” Now I don’t know what was different about that Sunday afternoon. But there I was again naked. Face to dick and I did exactly what I had. Or so I thought. Only this time it was taking longer. Mental notes went off in my head *move your head. Touch his balls. Move your head. Don’t go too fast or too slow. Make eye contact. Go deeper. Go deeper than that. No teeth. Tongue to the tip.* And time went on. I used my hands a bit. Only he wasn’t cumming.
Along with being a perfectionist, I’m unbelievably competitive. I hate quitting. I don’t give up and it was generally pissing me off playing this game like I were bobbing for apples, only in this case it was a dick. And I wasn’t winning.
“Only 1 person has ever made me cum from head. You can stop if you want.”
That statement alone was like telling me, “you’re not as good as she was.” At least that’s what I heard in my head. So no I wasn’t gonna stop.
I allowed myself to get lost in this. Now few asked, “why didn’t you just fuck him.” Well, I had my own reasons for that. And I was determined to be that one other person who made him cum from a blowjob.
There I was back arched and I could feel myself getting a butt workout. At least there was that. I wondered if my mouth would lock and how much my throat would hurt tomorrow.
But I really wasn’t thinking about anything other than his dick and this conquest before me.
We changed positions a bit. Me to my knees on my floor. And I kept trying. But nothing was progressing and all I kept thinking was, “you’re losing.”
Then after I don’t even know how much time, I’m not proud to admit I gave up. I switched to a hand job and when he told me he was gonna cum I swallowed. Because I might have failed for the first time in my life, but I was no rookie. You take it like a champ, close your eyes and swallow. Easy clean up. The general rule of thumb you don’t kiss a guy after he cums in your mouth. You politely go to the bathroom, brush your teeth. And I always have a toothbrush in my purse and then you can get all lovey dovey if you feel like.
I looked at my phone to many missed calls and texts only to realize it had been close to 90 minutes since we began.
I proceeded to go home and I stared at a phone whose silence annoyed the shit out of me.
I’ll be the first to admit, maybe it wasn’t the best blowjob. I don't blame others when I'm the one who is wrong. Maybe he really is just one of those people who can’t cum from a blowjob. Regardless of the factors no longer within my control, the only thing that crossed my mind was I blew you for 90 fucking minutes. You couldn’t just send me a text. Like that took some hell of perseverance. But maybe I don’t deserve a text. Maybe I gotta call my fuck buddy from college and take a few more notes.
Whatever the case may be I don’t even care about a text as much as I care you completely shook my confidence in giving blowjobs.
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