“There are some people in this world who can just love and love no matter what.” –JG
Love has never hurt me, people have.
I don’t blame love for heartbreak. I believe that heartbreak is the result of a lack of love from another person. I believe if you look underneath what people claim they want, humans are very much alike. We all just want someone who gives a damn about us.
I’ve done many things for love. I’ve allowed it to make me crazy. I’ve crossed oceans to hand over my heart on a silver platter. I bought someone a puppy just because I could. I’ve written too many letters. I’ve driven for hours and spent pitch black nights on lonely highways. I’ve spent more money than I could even begin to calculate on showing others that I care.
I’ve stood there shaking, trying to tell another he was the love of my life with tears in my eyes as the words spilled from my lips, “I’m sorry but I’ve fallen in love with you and I think you are the most remarkable person I’ve ever known.”
Maybe I did these things because I'm crazy. Or maybe I’m not, maybe I’m the only sane person who values love in its entirety.
Every one of those moments has had two things in common; I took advantage of the moment because I knew I’d lose my chance if I didn’t say it right then and there and I got hurt.
“If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you are scared it will cause problems. Even if you are scared that it’ll burn your life to the ground, you say it. You say it loud and you go from there.” -Grey’s Anatomy
The things I regret most in life aren’t words I said or chances I took. The things I regret most are those times I was too afraid to make a move.
Regret will always hurt more than rejection. With rejection, at least I know I tried my best. I did everything I could and fully shared my abundance of emotions.
If someone cannot reciprocate the way I feel, that’s on them.
But there isn’t a person on this Earth who could look me in the eyes and tell me I didn’t give it my all. I’ll take the broken hearts. I’ll take making someone uncomfortable for a moment if they don’t feel the same way.
I’ll take it all with a smile and maybe a few tears, because I know I’m taking the right kind of chances in my life. That is something I can never regret. I know the love I give will one day be reciprocated. All of those gestures will come back to me, multiplied.
Of the greatest challenges I live with isn’t dealing with rejection, but not allowing that rejection to taint my views on love and how much I value it. I’ll continue to love hard. I’ll continue to love deeply. I’ll continue to do these things until I get it right.
Because when you love the right way, one day you meet someone who is worthy of everything you have to offer.
“Go after her. Fuck don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign because it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3,000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and unguarded and that is all that is worth anything really.” –Harvey Milk
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