Families are messy, we all know that. But some are a little more messed up than others. For those of us who come from broken homes, we know all too well that love can be a total bitch. Before getting serious with us, there are some things you should keep in mind:
1. When we push you away, don’t actually leave.
This is the classic “test” - whether we are aware that we’re doing it or not. We need to be with someone who has thick skin, so if you run at the first sign of us losing our sh*t, we’ll take that as a red flag.
When things get tough, we may push you away. It’s okay to give us some space at first, but don’t give up; fight for our love.
2. Bring us into your family.
We dream of not just marrying a good person one day, but marrying a family as well. We watch close families get together and we crave the stories, the fights, and the love that they have.
Welcome us into your family as though we are one of you. It will bring us more warmth and acceptance than you could ever imagine.
3. Know when to talk, and know when to listen.
When we talk about family issues, we aren’t always looking for advice. Sure, there may be times when we wanna hear what you think we should do, but...
There may not be anyone else who we can vent to. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for us is just quietly listen to our pain.
4. Above all else, be loyal.
In love, it’s hard for us to trust someone right away. We’ve seen the ugly in people, and we know what it feels like to be abandoned, or rejected.
Loyalty is number one on our list, and if you show us that we can trust you, we’ll eventually let our guards down too.
5. Don’t push us to open up before we’re ready.
We have our own timeline that we’re on....sorry if that upsets you. We won’t necessarily let our guards down right when you think we should - or at the same time that you do.
Just know that when the time is right, we will show you our inner workings.
6. We aren’t looking for you to fix us…
In fact, that’s probably one of the worst things you could try to do. Just because there are some things in our lives that are broken, doesn’t mean that we are broken...
7. We’re just looking for you to support us.
In love, in life, in work, in friends. In good things, in bad things, in all things.
At the end of the day, we may not have grown up with support from our families, so when it comes from you, we’ll absolutely cherish it.