You know who you are if you’re a bad dancer. You’ve come to accept your condition; the problem is other people just won’t have it when you say you “don’t dance.” Weddings and clubs are like minefields where you have to find a way to avoid disaster (that is, getting dragged on to the dance floor again). The results are never pretty.
When someone says they’d like to dance with you, they don’t realize what they’re getting themselves into.
You just don’t do "the Macarena."
In the past you’ve attempted to keep it cool with slight head-bobs and a little body swaying, like when you’re at a concert.
But that’s your utmost limit.
At weddings, people are always questioning why you won’t get up and get on the floor.
They don’t wonder after they witness your dance for themselves.
You just don’t have the moves, and you don’t want to pretend as if you do.
You don’t care if it makes you seem like you’re no fun.
It’s actually much more amusing to watch everyone else make fools of themselves twerking than to let yourself loose.
The only times you really have danced are times you don’t actually remember.
It may be because those times never really happened or because shots. You’ll never really be certain.
And so you feel like you’re either Chandler on Friends or Elaine on Seinfeld.
The worst thing is when you get dragged in (literally) to dancing with someone against your will when you have no idea what you’re doing.
And who’s to say you should be forced to dance anyway if you’re not in the mood for it?
Dancing when you don’t feel like it is like trying to make yourself laugh when something isn’t funny.
The only dancing you’ll do now, maybe, is when completely alone (if that), and only when you get very, very good news.
Whenever you’re at a party, you always find your people in those who stand on the sidelines of the dancing.
You’ll only agree to dance, maybe, with someone who wants an easy, slow dance with you, but even that’s a rarity.
Usually, you’ll choose to avoid dancing as much as you can…
- ...out of kindness for the people you love.
Sign up for the Pucker Mob Women’s News Email Newsletter
powered by ArcaMax