Love Actually. Pretty Woman. Notting Hill. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. The Wedding Singer. Just a few of the many, where it keeps us laughing, gives us hope, and above all there is a happily ever after. But in real life, there is no script. There's no director calling cut. There's no one guiding you, on what the actual f*ck is going on, so you're left to fumble through God knows what, with who and try to find clarity, among the confusion. Sometimes you wish there was an under study playing the roll of you. But this isn't a movie, this is your life and you've learned to of the many things you can control, there are more things you can't.
1. That dry spell you’ve been enduring is a real thing...because you can’t even or don’t even want to remember the last time you had sex.
2. You haven’t “talked” to someone in so long, you begin conversations with yourself....you’ve caught yourself on more than one occasion taking ideas out, thinking you’ve said it in your head but you didn’t.
3. Someone asks if you’re seeing someone and you laugh…”I saw the dentist last week.”
4. You can’t even remember the last date you’ve been on….what are dates and how do they work?
5. Dating apps are just way too much effort...no thank you, I’d rather just not do that sort of thing.
6. Everyone's getting engaged, pregnant, and or married and you’re like shots...because you can’t even imagine being at that point in your life, but power to the people who are. You’ll be the drunkest least prego at the wedding.
7. Plus one’s just don’t work...cause you’d rather entertain yourself than have someone following you around all night.
8. Your friends are your go to every Friday...and you think hmm I wonder if we’ll meet someone tonight? Then you get too drunk and blow every chance.
9. When you think something is potentially about to go right, you count to 5 Mississippi...because honestly easy come easy go, am I right?
10. Pics in your phone, aren’t attractive selfies but rather humiliating snaps you send to your GFs...Because well you value alone time and being in sweats more than anything else.
11. People talk about their relationship and how long it’s been, and you’re like “must be nice.”...Because you like the idea of seeing someone but when push comes to shove, it’s only ever an idea.
12. Family members know better than to ask about your dating life….they just don’t.
13. You once bought yourself flowers and chocolate because WTH not….it’s not like you are waiting for someone else to, so you might as well get what you like.
14. You have a indifferent opinion of Valentine’s Day, because hey what’s just another day single?...everyone makes a big deal about it, and you’re like, “well chocolate sales are through the roof for the next week, so there’s that.”
15. People ask your type and your reply a celebs name, because in your mind you’re dating….you have this fantasy relationship that is all too real in your mind.
16. In reality dating just isn’t your priority and you don’t really care...and everyone tells you to try dating. And you’re simply like, “why?”
17. Because while happily ever after may happen for you one day, for now you'll settle for happy hour.
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