It’s a shame that you were completely blind to her unconditional love. She did everything to keep the love you had for each other afloat, but love wasn’t enough. It takes more than love to make a relationship last and you were not willing to put in the right amount of understanding, commitment and compromise. Instead, you perceived her love and efforts as a threat and your lack of understanding turned your heart against hers..
You couldn’t handle that her love for you was pure and unconditional, it challenged you in all the good ways. But that was too much for you, too soon. Even when your heart craved her touch, you couldn’t bare that her love would be capable of changing your world as you knew it. You were too comfortable in your ways to open your heart to change and to experience the kind of love she was offering you.
So instead of embracing her beautiful ways, you pushed her away. You couldn’t see that you were her focus and that everything she did for you was to motivate you and encourage you. Because she saw so much potential in you. She believed in your dreams and your ability to succeed even more than you believe in yourself. She wholeheartedly believed in her love for you and selflessly gave her all to make you happy.
She was never afraid to confront you when you allowed your insecurities to take over your choices. She never hesitated to call you out on your shit, simply because she knew in her heart than you were better than any of your half-assed actions. But you missed the mark when you decided to be blind to her loyalty and support. You were a fool for neglecting her but a bigger fool for convincing yourself that she was an enemy to your heart.
And yet, she still believed in you and risked it all for you. She didn’t fail you in any way. Ever. She was willing to put in the work and she did. She trusted her heart’s instincts and followed through. But you...you were quick to jump ship, you were quick to let your ego guide you out of what could have been the best kind of love your heart ever received.
You quit what you had, you abandoned her heart because it got too real for you. You walked away and to top it off, you were quick to put the blame of her. You somehow twisted the reality to your advantage, just so you didn’t have to carry the weight of your own guilt. You made her love appeared irrational, you made her out to be the biggest drama queen whose intention was to control you and changed you. Were you really that blind? Did you really have to go out of your way to make her feel less than and insecure about every ounce of love she offered you.
You were so insecure about your own ability to love that she became your emotional punching bag. She took all your crap until she had enough and she just couldn’t bare watching herself wither away and turn into something that she’s not just to please you. Your insecure heart betrayed her love. It was never her fault that you didn’t know how to love.
She held onto you and her love for you for way too long. She wanted to believe that love would conquer your emotional issues and that you would finally allow yourself to be open to what your heart was feeling. She knew that it wouldn’t be easy, and she was willing, but in the end, you made it impossible. She had to choose herself for once. She had to come to terms with the fact that you were not willing to give it your all. Just because you fell for her doesn’t mean you were ready to love her.
At times, she might resent herself for allowing herself to shower you witn infinite love, but in her heart she knows that she couldn’t pass the chance to experiencing a forever kind of love. She knows it was risky but she also knows that she would have not been able to live with herself if she didn’t give love a chance.
She failed but so did you, but you didn’t destroy her ability to love. She now knows how far she can give until she knows it’s a battle she can win and for that she’s forever grateful to have experienced what you put her through. You’re the lesson that will guide her to fulfill her dream of experiencing true love one day with someone who will give her everything that you were not capable of giving her.