I'd love to say that you never cross my mind, but that isn't entirely true.
I don't spend every second missing you, wondering what you're up to, or wishing I could talk to you. No, I am confident in my decision to cut you from my life.
But you do sometimes sneak into my thoughts...late at night when I can't sleep when I see something that reminds me of you.
And for one split second, my heart sinks a little because I do remember the good between us.
But then it vanishes because all the good thoughts are outweighed by the toxicity you brought to my life. And that is what I remember when I think of you.
I don't wish you were still in my life and I certainly don't question how you are, mostly because I already know. I don't have to ask to know that nothing has changed.
And that's why that when your memory does occasionally harass me, I smile.
I smile because losing you marked the moment my life changed for the better. You brought me so far down, but my life is so much better without you.
I am so free and so loved and so glad that I don't have to worry about you anymore.
You brought out the worst in me, always making me feel unimportant, jealous, and crazy for knowing I deserved more than you ever gave me.
But I finally don't have to think about how you feel and I finally get to think about my friends, my family, and even myself for a change.
So maybe I can't say that you are completely erased from my mind, but I can say that you are most definitely absent from my heart.
Now when you cross my mind, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have escaped you and how I am more loved now than I ever knew was possible.
I've taken every ounce of abuse you dished out and turned into a positive life.
And for that, I've never been more proud of myself.
For more from rc, visit her writer's page here.
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