You knew from day one that you didn't love me. Not the way you should have, the way I needed you to. You led me on.
But I can't blame you completely because I knew better. I knew you'd never choose me. I knew you'd never love me like you love her. You'd never open your eyes.
It's funny really, how I became you. You fawned over someone who would never love you back. You were lost in her, so much so that you let her drag you through the mud whenever it suited her.
You let her treat you like a toy, only playing with you until a newer, shinier toy came along.
And that's exactly what I did. I let you treat me like dirt. I let you ignore me, make me feel crazy for caring about you. I gave you all the attention you were desperately craving from her. I filled a void.
But I wasn't what you wanted, so I couldn't fill it for very long. I could never be her. And I certainly couldn't continue to let you break my heart everyday. I had to let go. I deserved that much.
I know you almost loved me. I know that maybe if she wasn't in the room, you might have looked at me.
I know that after you kissed me, you went home and thought about her. I know you tried to want me, I know you didn't want to rip me apart. I know you almost meant the things you said.
But eventually almost becomes inadequate. I was giving far too much to continue receiving your "almost." I was draining; always trying to pour from an empty cup. I couldn't keep waiting for the almost, maybe, one day soon love.
It's sad that you lost me over someone who will continue to leave you empty, and honestly, I hope you feel like an idiot. I hope it hurts. But not because I'm vindictive or bitter, I just hope that it helps you wisen up.
I hope that one day you realize you're worth more than an almost, too.
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