Too often, we assume that a relationship will fix us. We want to fill that void in our hearts with the love that someone else could give us.
We find it much easier to accept the perceived faults and flaws in others than the ones we see in ourselves.
But, there are a few hard truths about our relationships with ourselves and others that we need to work on.
1.) You can’t put someone else in charge of your happiness.
While being in a relationship definitely helps with happiness, it cannot and should not be your sole source of happiness.
It’s just not fair to expect someone else to fill that expectation day in and day out. It’s unrealistic. We have to be able to fulfill this ourselves.
We need to learn how to take charge of our own happiness without depending on someone else to do it for us.
2.) Your insecurities won’t go away when you get a significant other.
Sure, having someone helps. But, your insecurities will always be your insecurities. Your flaws will always try and find a way to make you feel like “less than” you are.
If you make an effort to come to terms with the good and the bad aspects of yourself, you will be less likely to allow someone else to manipulate any of your weaknesses.
3.) You have to learn to love yourself before you can expect someone else to do it.
If you don’t learn to start practicing self-love, you’ll sabotage your relationships. You’ll constantly look for approval and validation from others.
You won’t feel worthy unless someone else tells you that you are.
You're doing yourself a HUGE disservice. Because even on your weakest days, you ARE worthy. You don’t need to be in a relationship for that to be true.
4.) You need to recognize your value and learn your worth.
If you don’t, you will settle. You need to know what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship.
Too often, people will fall into relationships with people thinking they couldn’t do any better or feeling like they’re lucky that someone wants to be with them at all.
5.) You need to find your identity outside of a relationship.
Sometimes, if we enter into a relationship before we have fixed the relationship with ourselves, we will get completely lost in the other person.
We need to always prioritize our individual identity before entering into a couple identity, or everything that makes you special could disappear.
6.) You are your own “fixer-upper”
You are always willing to swoop in for others and fix them. Why aren’t you willing to do that for yourself?
Be your own hero. You don’t need someone to mend your broken parts.
If someone happens to come by while you are a work in progress? Great. We are always a work in progress. But, the relationship won’t be your saving grace.
The relationship will be a bonus. Because you have always been capable of becoming the vibrant, loving, and caring person that you are all on your own.