I thought being vulnerable meant being weak for the longest time. I thought showing someone how much I cared and how much I hurt about the things in my life made me weak.
I believed that showing them all of the pieces inside of me would allow them to destroy me. So in my fear of becoming vulnerable, I became what I feared. I hurt the people around me and purposefully chose to do things to create a buffer around myself.
In my fight to keep distance between my hurting soul and someone else's, I finally found some space to breathe and find the paths I needed to take. And what scared the shit out of me was every single path required vulnerability.
So I let vulnerability hit me in the face, and I let it soak out of my eyes and down my cheeks as I began flipping through the places of my heart.
I let vulnerability breathe me, letting it open up my world to others.
What I learned about being vulnerable was what I needed to learn about life. Being vulnerable means I have to be able to love, communicate and let people in my life. Vulnerability lets me be human.
Vulnerability is terrifying, but there is something beautiful and exhilarating about choosing to do something terrifying.
I was stuck in reverse, pushing away from everything I wanted and needed and was blind to the people trying to fix me before I finally realized I should have fallen in their arms.
People are placed in our lives for thousands of reasons- to teach us lessons, to learn lessons, for us to see someone fall and get back up, and to find the parts of you that you've unknowingly always been missing. Sometimes people have to leave and come back for things to be what they were always supposed to be.
We have to be vulnerable for these things to happen. Being vulnerable to the world doesn't make us weak or dumb, it makes us simply feel alive. And I would take feeling alive over apathy any day.
Being vulnerable allowed me to forgive the people in my life I was never able to, and it allowed me to forgive myself. To be vulnerable is to love and that in itself is beautiful no matter the outcome.