I've truthfully always thought we would make it. If I didn't, I wouldn't have tried for this long. I wouldn't have waited around as much as I have. You've always been different to me. I have something with you that I've never had with anyone else.
I don't know how to explain what that 'something' is, but it's there.
We may have gone back and forth a lot, but it's never changed anything. Whether we're together or we're not, things stay the same between us, they always have. We've made so many plans for the future, which was easy because we want the same things out of life.
We share the same passions and have the same interests. We've even talked about getting married. Planning a future with you was practically effortless. I would do anything for you. I would go anywhere for you. I can make it through anything as long as you're by my side.
The love I have for you is completely limitless in every way, and there isn't a single thing I wouldn't do to make this work. Being with you means the world to me.
But...at some point, I have to address the fact that you don't feel the same. I know that you want to. I know that you try to...but I also know that you just don't. When I say 'I love you more', I know I'm being very literal.
You see minor problems, which every relationship has, as a legitimate reason to just end things. You run away from commitment at the first sign of trouble. You break up with me, but we just go back to the "talking" stage and then get back together.
That was fine, the first few times. That was fine, in the beginning. I made myself emotionally cope with it because you're more than worth it to me.
But this is real life. This is my heart shattering more and more each time it happens. This is depression grabbing ahold of me, and screaming in my face that I'm just not good enough for you. This is me being desperately in love with someone that doesn't love me enough to stay.
I've always been the one that loves more. And I'm okay with that. But, committing to a relationship is sticking it out when things get difficult. It's finding a solution when there's a problem. It's knowing, without a second thought, that your person is worth at least trying for...but you run instead.
You leave me in case things go wrong, and ignore the fact that they could go right. You won't take chances for me, and that hurts.
Instead of trying to fix a problem, with the possibility of succeeding, you'd rather just walk away and end things over the possibility of not. And I'm alone, again. Waiting, again.
However, apparently I know how to wait. I've spent more time being understanding and waiting our entire relationship than I have with anything else. At some point, I'm not going to anymore, just know that.
I don't know when I'll stop. I don't know when it'll hit me that I've had it and can't wait around anymore. I don't know when I'll let it fully register that you just can't feel the way I do. But, it'll happen eventually. And when it does, your chance will be gone.
So, before you leave me next, you should ask yourself; would it feel good having to see me with someone else? Would you be okay with me telling you that I don't love you anymore? Do you want to have to look back and know that you had a girl that would've given you the world if it were possible, but you gave up on her?
I don't want you to give up on me. I also don't want to have to keep doing this. All I want from you is for you to just love me enough to stay. To stop running. To at least try for me.
I just want you to think I'm worth taking a chance for.
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