You're the nice guy. The guy that goes out of his way to be friendly and support people. The guy that gets over looked by the one female he's interested in.
I get it. I've seen it happen before. Hell, I've done it before. I won't tell you that in a way it's not completely true, but I want to explain to you why it happens.
First things first, we don't date douche bags on purpose. These dimwits decide to act like the nice guy. They trick us into thinking they are nice, kind and into us.
Then when they think we've fallen enough to become attached to them, they show their true colors. That's when you realize that we've been dating a jerk instead of giving you, the nice guy, a chance. But that's also when we realize it.
We didn't purposely pick the jerk over you. We didn't see the jerk in them and say "I want to be with him, so he can treat me like a piece of crap". We didn't purposely choose to be treated badly over the way you would've treated us.
You have to understand that we do our best to not fall for guys that plan on emotionally murdering us. We try to distinguish between the real nice guys and the ones putting up a front. It just doesn't always go our way.
But that's not the only reason why the nice guys aren't getting picked. It's not all our fault. I can't even blame it all on the jerks.
As a nice guy, you are nice to everyone. You didn't single us out and make us feel special like the jerk did. He had his sights set on us and made that effort to let us know.
We can't tell the difference between nice and nice. The way you treat us is the same way you treat everyone else. We can't read minds. We don't know you're interested unless you show us.
And if you don't step up and show us, We're going to assume you don't. That's when you end up friend-zoned. When you treat us the way you treat every other person.
You need to show us you're interested. You being nice is not enough. We can't tell the difference between the nice you that's aimed towards us, and the nice you that's aimed towards.... your sister.
So it's not all our fault. It's not all the jerks' fault. It's not all your fault. We all share the blame in this disaster.
Just know that nice guys wouldn't finish last if we knew the truth behind everyone's intentions. Nice guys finish first in our books, it just doesn't always play out the way we want it to.
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