I want you to know that you are not alone. Your story will be different than mine but I need you to know that those differences are what makes you so incredibly special.
I have always had a hard time figuring out who I am, what I want and where I belong. I have been that way my entire life. I am one of those people that learns something, excels at it, gets bored and moves on. I have always been so envious of people who have that one passion in life.
There are people out there who have always known what they want to be and how get there. Me? I changed my major four times in college, worked in a bar after graduation and then finally got a job that I excel at but that I question almost every day. It's not that I don't love my job, because I do and I am good at it, it is that I always feel like I could be doing more. I feel like I can't find my purpose.
It is not just work and school that I am like this. I was like this in every relationship I have ever been in. I went for the bad boy(s) and would realize it and walk away. I finally went for the good guy and no matter how hard I tried and wanted to, I could not love him back. He meant more to me than I ever imagined and hurting him was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
I went for the guy with the career who wanted to settle down but he never allowed me to be myself and he broke me into pieces. I finally found true love on the other side of all of the heart break and uncertainty and I found it with the man who loves my imperfections. Through him I learned that my struggles and weirdness and uncertainty are what make me who I am.
I still struggle everyday with where life will take me but I have recently realized that this is more common than I give it credit for. I think the point is that feeling alone does not mean that you are alone. Your stories and circumstances and situations are unique to you. They are your chapter book.
There is beauty in the darkness and the light doesn't always have to shine in order for you to find your way. Sadness and confusion and those feelings you feel are also in the hearts of those around you.
Everyone has a story and everyone has their struggles. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. We have imperfect families and we will have imperfect children who will go on to live imperfect lives. I think its important to remember that. I think our mistakes, our uncertainty and our differences are constantly misinterpreted as flaws.
I need you to know that you are flawless. Your uncertainly is perfect and that life will take you to right where you are meant to be. It is okay to change your mind. Be proud of yourself. Be kind to yourself and always remember that if it never got dark, we would never see the stars.
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