Whether you're officially the side chick or loving him from afar this is important. This isn't going to be bashing you for what you're doing, but hopefully help you move on.
Any man who is willing to entertain another woman while he is in a serious relationship isn't loyal. And even though you "love him" he will end up doing the same to you if he ever leaves his current situation. Which, by the way, he probably won't. Because you're letting him have you on the side so why should he leave?
You are so much better than this.... And yet you are letting yourself be defined by a man who wants to keep you hidden because he is in love with someone else. If he really loved you he would be with you. He also wouldn't have cheated with you in his current relationship. Yes, love and relationships are complicated. But when you start going behind people's backs and lying it only shows the kind of person you are. Do you really want to be the girl who he goes to just because his girlfriend is gone?
Do you really want to be the side chick who is always there but gets nothing in return? Your answer should be no. Yes, I'm sure you love him and I'm sure he's made you believe he loves you too, but he doesn't. If he did he wouldn't be playing this game with 2 or more women. It's hard giving up on something you were convinced was going to happen.
He told you he was going to leave her. He told you she meant nothing to him, but things were just "complicated" right now and soon he would be all yours. Sound familiar? It's just a game. All he wants is attention and trust me, he doesn't care who it is from. But as a woman you need to stand up for yourself.
You need to understand that you deserve so much better and so does his girlfriend. But don't be the other woman, don't stoop so low that you have to try and get a man who already is taken. Even if you didn't know at first, once you find out he has a girlfriend you need to leave.
You know that this is a bad situation and deep down your conscience reminds you all of the time, but just because you think you love him doesn't mean this is how you go about it. The main point is, would you want someone doing this to you?
Lets say you do end up with this man you love so much and see your future with. How would you feel if he went out and was having an affair on you? How would you feel knowing he says he loves you but later that night he is saying it to someone else? That's what you're currently doing and wanting.
Because someone who can't leave when they find someone "better" is a person who uses people. They are a person who lies and they don't really care who they hurt. So, are you really sure that's what you want in your life?
Are you sure you want a man who once you stop being his mistress that you won't be worried he'll be out there looking for another? Are you sure you're going to be able to trust him when he say's he needs to stay late at work or a sudden week trip for work came up? Are you sure you're not going to sneak around his shoulder every chance you get to see who he is talking to?
Exactly.... So, before you go all in on trying to get what you think you want, remember the consequences, okay? Because you can't say no one warned you.