You always needed me.
You always needed my help.
You always needed something from me.
I wish it hadn't taken me this long to realize that none of you ever cared about me. I wish I had known that you only cared about what I could offer you.
You were having a hard time, you were low on self-esteem, you were sad, you were tired, you were down on your luck, you were bored, you were broke, you were lonely...
You were using me.
And the older I get and the smaller my circle becomes, the more I realize it isn't my fault. I am not doing something wrong, I am not suddenly unlovable--I'm just smarter.
I've learned from all the people who 'needed me'. I learned from the mistakes I made letting people in too quickly, trusting too easily, being too patient.
I gave everything I had until there was nothing left, lending out pieces of my heart until I was empty. And now you need me again. You need my help, my love, my time, my effort, my money.
But I have nothing to give you because you have already drained me.
So now, of course, you don't want me because I am of no use to you. Because you never wanted me in the first place; you only wanted what I could give to you.
And now I can't give you anything because I have to be there for myself. I have to spend the little energy I have on myself. I have to pick up my own broken pieces and I don't have time to fix yours.
So please go ahead and walk away, because I never needed you.
For more from rc, visit her writer's page here.
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