I didn't realize how much I had changed for you until after we broke up. I quit challenging my mind and became softer and quieter. I made myself smaller, to fit in your box of a perfect girlfriend. I just didn't realize how controlling you were.
My entire self-worth was dependent on you. I couldn't make a decision without asking your opinion. Any by your "opinion", I mean permission. When we would fight I didn't know how to function. I felt worthless and unlovable when you were mad.
I lived for you. The moment I realized that I didn't, and shouldn't exist for you, the game changed. It took a long time and a lot of self-reflection, but I have found my true self. And guess what? I love her. Freeing myself from you was the best decision I ever made.
I'm loud and messy. I'm fun and funny. I dance in the shower, instead of crying. I'm happy, confident and full of life. I'm reconnecting with old friends. I'm dating new guys....guys that are way better than you.
I don't know what life has in store for me, or who I will end up with. But I do know that my life is so much better without you in it.
For the first time, in a long time, I'm looking forward to my future.
For more of Mary's writing, follow her on Facebook.
Sign up for the Pucker Mob Women’s News Email Newsletter
powered by ArcaMax