Falling for someone doesn't take as much time as we'd like to think. One day, everything is going on the way it always does and the next, he's all you can think about. It happens in the blink of an eye. So quickly that you don't even have time to catch yourself.
Because that's what I thought you were going to do. I thought that you were going to be there. At least that's what you made me believe.
Even if you can't admit it to me or anyone else, you knew what you were doing. You knew all along that when we locked eyes, my heart beat a little faster. That when you said my name, my smile got a little wider. You knew that I was already in too deep.
I don't know if you thought I would get over it. Or you thought that I was playing a game, that everything would go back to normal. That I was just using you. Like so many others before me. But believe me, I get having baggage. I have some myself. Which makes all of this so much worse.
I didn't just fall for you, I trusted you I trusted you to be true to your word. To make promises and keep them. To be there when you said you were going to be. But somewhere along the way, you fell short.
And I keep thinking that maybe if I hold on a little longer if I hold on a little tighter, you wouldn't hurt me. You wouldn't be the one to break my heart again. It's getting a little tiring. Trying to find the silver lining when there isn't one.
Because falling for you, trusting you, letting you into my life was so easy. But watching you fade out of it was so much harder than I thought it would be.
When I finally understood that you weren't who I thought you were, it stung. I'm not saying that I've never had it worse, because I have. But something about you, something about knowing that you would rather walk away then figure it out, that's what hurts the most.
And maybe I should have been more careful with my heart. But you should have been careful too. it doesn't take much to lie to someone. It doesn't make you more of a man because you have me in your back pocket.
Just because you have the upper hand, and always did, doesn't mean that you have won.
In fact, if you give it a little time, I think you're going to find that your loss was much, much bigger than mine. Even if I'm the only one that's crying, I won't be the one who carries this around. Sooner or later, you're going to think back on this moment, on me, and ask yourself why you weren't just honest.
Why you couldn't give me what I wanted. Maybe it's your parts that are broken, not mine.
Whatever the reason, I want you to know that I don't wish you the best. I don't hope that you find someone new. Because the way that you treat people, that's what you deserve to get back from the world. And the way you treated me, all you deserve is someone that hurts you back.
Someone who builds you up then tears you down with a couple of words. Someone who never calls. Someone who makes you wait. Most importantly, you deserve someone that's going to make you truly believe that they are capable of loving you.
But all they do in the end is walk away.
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