Because sometimes my voice shakes when my words do not.
And sometimes I use more force when I just mean to be delicate.
I am full of power and drive, but sometimes I want you to hear my words instead of my voice. Please hear what I am trying to say, not how I am saying it. Listen closely because it may seem that when I need you to hear me the most, I won't be speaking at all.
The things we do speak louder than our voices could ever raise, sometimes feeling as if we're standing in a blacked-out, sound proof room. Instead of my screams projecting outwards, they bounce off every corner inside my mind. Sometimes... just sometimes I get a little scared about the idea of my mind breaking open.
As Rumi would say, why do we stay trapped inside a prison when the door is so wide open? Breaking free of the restrictions I put on myself shouldn't be anything less than extraordinary. I have lived a life in fear of losing those around me based on how I think and see the beauty around me.
Just because I think something is beautiful and you do not, does not mean that beauty is of any less value. It does not mean that I will turn away from something that speaks to my soul in a touching way.
When I whisper my dreams to you please know I'm not looking for your approval. I'm looking for you to say you want to join me, I'm looking for you to believe in me too. When I whisper my fears to you, I'm not looking for you to validate them. I'm looking for you to laugh and know that I have nothing to fear- I will take on the world.
You love my eyes, and I wonder at night if it's because they hold the words I don't speak to you. I wonder if there will be a day you no longer hear my voice, and you will finally hear the weight in my words.
I am free, I am alive. I will speak for those who can't and I will never fall silent for myself. Even if I don't utter words to you, hear the things I am showing you-proving to you- throwing at you.
Listen to my soul, not my body.