It was you who no longer wanted me. It was you who ended this before we really had a chance. It was you who chose that “us” would no longer mean anything because your freedom meant more. You made these decisions for me, and yet here I am still loving you.
If there is one thing I wish you had done it would’ve been to find a way for me to hate you because I want to. I want to so badly.
I want to not care that I have to wake up without a morning call from you or end my day without your goodnight texts. I want to be numb to the touch so I can stop wishing for something as simple as a hug from you. I want to stop loving you because I’m sick to my stomach that apart of my heart isn’t mine to control anymore.
But most of all, I just want the pain to go away as easily as the love came.
No matter how hard I try to erase the memories and moments we shared from my mind, my heart keeps a strong hold. You and I had a love, and every high and low that comes with it that it made a lasting impression on my life.
And honestly, if it were up to me I know that the love could have gone so much further than that. It was too real, natural and logically illogical that we would have been amazing together for a million moments more. But you let go.
And now I’m left here alone because there is just something so irresistible about you that I just can’t seem to shake off.
I may never shake it off, and you may never realize how big of a mistake it was for you to let go of us. But maybe you will, and I’ll be here still loving you.
Or maybe I won’t, and I guess that was a risk you were willing to take.