The truth is, moving on doesn’t entirely mean that my heart completely erases every trace of you. Love is complex and it comes with the good, bad and the ugly. When love unfortunately ends, all of it, from the amazing to the saddest memories, remain latent in your soul. Having a meaningful connection with someone is not experienced very often, so it only makes sense that when the connection fades away, memories turn into forever scars in your heart. This is how I know you’ll forever have a place in my mine.
Yes, my heart remembers every trace of you and every moment I’ve spent with you but that doesn’t mean I dwell on those thoughts. I no longer long for your touch, your love is no longer fuel to my soul. I don’t wait around for a text, a call, a sign telling me that you still care. I simply no longer justify your lack of love for me in any way. I no longer lie to myself about you being ‘the one’ because you couldn’t possibly be now that I know how we truly are together.
I know better now, I liked the idea of us, but we didn’t live up to it. Our love was simply not enough to measure up to the fantasy that lived in my mind. We’re just better off not being together. What we had lasted for a brief moment not because it was wrong, it was just short lived and that’s valid too.
I’ve moved on, that doesn’t mean I forget you entirely, I do think of you from time to time but I think of you fondly. The good memories out weight the bad ones, so I still look back to the moments where you held me tight, told me that you loved me and made me laugh. I cherish our past but I have no desire to bring it back. I’m okay with those moments being part of me but they’re in no way consuming me.
I won’t lie, in a way I still feel that maybe it’d be nice to have you in my life, not in the same way you were before. I guess part of me feels that a connection so strong like the one we shared doesn’t need to die but maybe transform into something different.
In any case, moving on doesn’t mean cutting you off entirely, it simply means letting go of the idea that I had of you and the strong desire to make us something that we are not.
I’m not happy that it ended, losing you was difficult but necessary and that’s all I need to know in order to look back at the past with content and acceptance.
I guess heartache is inevitable when you love someone so much and it all comes to an end, but it’s not the end of the world and definitely not the end of love.
I was happy to have you in my life, but I’m happier to have finally closed the chapter of us.
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