I'm good at doing me. I love who I am, and I love the life I was given.
It, however, is no secret that I am a mess of a person and my life is nothing but chaotic.
You walked into my life when I didn't need and didn't want anybody.
You asked me to coffee, and sure, I smiled but so did my heart.
I knew from the first words we awkwardly exchanged, that you would hold a permanent, special place in my heart- right next to the spot coffee has.
I will probably always love coffee and a little bit more than you, sorry.
I spent so many hours with you making stupid tasty video recipes and laughing. You never pushed me to be somebody, you never asked anything from me.
All you wanted was to know who I am.
Do you have any idea how terrifying that is? Knowing you wanted nothing from me, but to just be around me?
I thought I had it all figured out, but you made me question everything.
I never have to pretend when I'm around you and I don't think I will ever find something as beautiful as that again in my life, regardless of your time in my life.
The split-second I started realizing these things, you were taken out of my life.
You had places to go for awhile, and I was stuck back where I met you. I was really mad at the world for giving me you, and then taking you away right when I knew I wanted to be around you.
I hurt you.
I ignored you and pretended that our small time together meant nothing. You were the drug in my veins, and not having you around was the worst withdrawal I have ever experienced.
I knew how much you liked me, and that was such a special feeling.
I've watched my world shatter before, and I wouldn't mind watching it shatter again and again if I was always experiencing that feeling.
You came back in my life and I haven't wanted to let go of you since.
I thought I had it all figured out, in never needing someone. I need you. Need.
You have become something in my life that I will never wish to replace and I will never know why it's you. I'll never know why my life has handed me the things it has.
I love you. I've said it drunk in a car, I've probably said it in my sleep, I've told you into a pillow and I'm writing this down.
I don't care if you don't need me the way I need you, I don't care if you don't love me that way back.
But I do.
I thought I had it all figured out, and you came into my life.