I’ve felt the desperation and loneliness that comes from constantly struggling with depression. I know how hard it is just to survive each day.
If you let it, the sadness will take everything you have and leave you an empty shell of yourself. Words cannot describe how much it hurts to watch the person you love most battle that sadness.
Every day I look at you and see the misery reflected in your eyes. It breaks my heart to watch you suffer and know there’s nothing I can do about it. I feel so helpless.
I want more than anything to be the one who takes away all of your pain and makes you feel whole again. I want to be the person who turns your life around and helps you slay your demons for good.
Realistically, I know that won’t happen. I know how depression works and how easy it is to fall prisoner to it. I know that giving up is so much easier than having to constantly fight, but I’m begging you not to.
When we met, I fell in love with someone who was full of life, love, and adventure. You didn’t seem to have a care in the world and that made me feel free. For the first time in a long time, I felt like the best version of myself.
Now when I look at you, I hardly see that person. I see someone emotionless and defeated, sad and lonely. You saved me, and now I want to do the same for you.
It’s hard not to blame myself. I’m constantly wondering what I’m doing wrong or if I’m the reason for your drastic change. Even worse, I feel selfish asking anything of you when you are so clearly hurting.
I feel like more of a burden than a help to you and that breaks my heart more than anything else.
There are days where you seem to look straight through me as if I’m a total stranger. You no longer look at me with love in your eyes, kiss me, plan dates or seem to want to do anything at all.
You shut down and barely even talk to me. It has been happening more and more frequently and it feels like you’ve stopped caring entirely.
I don’t blame you, but it’s destroying me all the same. I don’t know how to reach you. I’ve tried begging you to see a doctor or counselor, but your pride won’t let you. Or at least that’s the excuse you give me.
I can’t help feeling that if you truly cared about me or us, you'd get the help you need in order to come back to me.
You’ve fallen so far down the sinkhole of depression that you can’t see the world around you. You no longer want to pull yourself back up. I’m losing you a little more each day and I don’t know how much more I can take.
If you will let me, I want to be here for you. I want to love all of you, even the parts that you can't love yourself. I’d give anything to put your broken pieces back together.
I’m begging you to please try and fight this. Do whatever it takes to move forward because I need you. I desperately miss the person I first fell in love with and I want him back.
I love you with my whole heart and I’m not ready to lose you. I promise you that as long as you're trying, I’ll be here with you doing my best too.
I refuse to give up on us until I know that we’ve both done absolutely everything we can to get through this. I just hope you’re willing to put your faith in me and try.
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