I wish that I could put all the blame on you for all of this mess that I have to deal with now and for all the things that you promised me that just fell short. But I can't because it was both of us, doing everything we could.
I just cared a little more than you did. And for that, I can't really give you all the blame.
I should have been more careful with my heart and never let my guard down. And most importantly, I should have seen what you were doing to me. Making me wait on you. Making me wait on something that was never going to happen.
I spent a long time trying to piece it all together. Trying to make sense of the reasons that you never called, the reasons that you thought I was going to be okay without you.
I've given you enough chances. Enough time to think about what you really want. I have asked you over and over again if you want this.
Your silence should have been enough for me to understand. But I didn't want it to end like this.
Now that it has, I want you to know something. I want you to know that without you, I would never have known what it feels like to stand on my own two feet.
You taught me that goodbye and giving up are not always the same. But they do have the same result. I couldn't keep loving you if I tried because it's killing me.
It's breaking me down slowly. As good as loving you felt, as nice as it was to have something and someone to fall back on, the truth is, I was just waiting on a ghost.
It might take a little while. It might not happen overnight. But someday, you're going to think about me and realize that it was a mistake letting me go. It's going to be one of your biggest regrets, that you can be sure of.
And one day maybe years from now, you're going to wonder how I'm doing. And maybe it'll hurt in the same way that I'm hurting now.
I want to say that I wish you the best, but the truth is, you lost that chance. You lost more than my love, You lost my friendship and my compassion. You took all of that and made me lost on you.
So now, I'm going to be okay. But someday soon, I know that you won't be. Because not fighting your hardest for me, that's always going to be your biggest regret.