In an ideal world... yeah; we’d all be able to stay friends with our exes after the breakup. There wouldn’t be any lingering feelings or any bad blood.
And it totally sounds easier said than done. Before finding yourself attempting to not hate but also not still love your ex just so you can be civil, it really doesn’t sound that hard.
I mean, why would you break up if you still loved him, right? And how hard can it be not to hate someone so much that you can’t be at least civil… right?!
Wrong, wrong, so wrong.
Breakups aren’t always because you stopped loving someone. There’s so many other circumstances that play into why relationships end.
And as much as we like to think that once the relationship ends our feelings do too, that’s usually just wishful thinking.
On the other hand, while you’re in a relationship it’s hard to think that you could ever have bad blood with that person. But feelings change and shit happens and there’s no telling how you can ever feel about someone in the future.
So you break up, for whatever reason, and after time you want to be in each other’s lives again. And you say that you just want to be friends, and nothing more.
You claim you’ve come to terms with all the bad blood and are able to forgive his faults from the past, and he says he feels the same way.
It’s not always a bad idea, and it definitely can work if you’re willing to make it work.
Time is definitely your biggest ally in rekindling a relationship with your ex in a new form.
Before really crossing the line and becoming friends with a man you once loved; think about things like,
Will it hurt you to watch him with another girl?
If you want to be friends, and only friends with him, it can’t bother you.
If he wanted you back would you date him again?
If the answer is yes, then friendship isn’t a path you want to be taking.
Do you feel like you’re ready, really ready, to date someone else, and not be thinking about him?
It’s okay if you aren’t ready, but if you’re not then bringing him back into your life might really just confuse you more than anything.
And finally, the most simple but maybe the hardest question to ask yourself;
Do you still love him, in that way?
Let these questions sink in your mind and really explore them before you decide if he’s a friend worth fighting for.