I’ve always heard people blaming their failed relationships on the timing. So many people use the excuse that “it just wasn’t the right time” for something to happen.
I was always the one to call bullshit on those kind of excuses. I was so naive in thinking that if things were meant to be, they’ll always happen without much effort.
I didn’t used to think that anything that was meant to be would be kept out of reach.
After meeting the man who I don’t doubt is a man I could, and might be supposed to, spend my life with, I feel like a fool in the way I used to think. I feel like a fool because he’s so out of reach and I’m at a loss for what to do about it.
As much as we love each other, our lives are so out of line.
As much as we’re on the same page, in reality it’s like we’re in completely different books.
He’s just so far away in every aspect of our lives.
And the worst part is that we have no other choice than to be happy living lives that don’t involve each other. We have to go about our lives, knowing that something is missing, and we’re forced to be okay with it.
But somehow when we’re together we’re both just happier. We’re better together but we can’t find a medium for our lives to connect.
He’s in a place in his life where I just can’t seem to get to no matter how hard I try. He’s ready for things that I need time to be ready for.
He’s just so far ahead of me and I’m running, sprinting, trying to catch up but if I run any faster I’m going to miss out on so much of my life just trying to be a part of his.
And don’t get me wrong, I want more than anything to be a part of his. I know he wants that too.
But I can’t speed up and he can’t slow down and I honestly just don’t know how else to make this work.
And the only thing I can bring myself to blame is the timing. I can’t stop wondering if maybe we met at a different time, then things would be different. Or maybe if we just wait a little while we’ll be ready for each other.
I hate that timing is what’s keeping us apart. I didn’t think that was ever a reason for two people to not be together.
But it is.
We can’t change our lives or the way we met or the way things are now.
All I can do is hope for a future that involves him and hope that I believe in fate for a reason.
All I can really do, for now, is wonder if maybe he really was the right guy at the wrong time.