We were happy. The kind of happy where a smile interrupts your kiss because nothing has ever felt so right.
It was all a whirlwind of blissful peace. I finally knew what peace was: to be calm in my heart even when circumstances turned life upside down.
You were my partner-in-crime, my secret keeper, the one I stole the blankets from every night. One quick glance up into your blue eyes and all my problems vanished. You were my home. And you made me believe that I was yours.
Until one night, you got out of the shower and suddenly decided you didn't love me anymore.
It happened just like that, without warning and without sound reason.
And I hated you for it.
I didn't understand, I still don't understand.
You left me with so many unanswered questions: What changed? How long have you actually felt this way? What did I do?
How long have you watched me love you and thought I was an idiot?
I felt so small and childish. Was I a fool to believe that you ever really loved me? Or are you simply not the person I thought you were?
Maybe you're just self-centered. Maybe I'm just naive. Maybe the thought of other possibilities was more enticing to you than the idea of my love and loyalty.
I begged you for answers, I sought clarification from others, I did everything I could think of to find closure. What did I do to deserve this?
But I'm slowly learning that life doesn't always give you what you think you deserve; I'm learning that you can give everything you've got, make no mistakes, and still lose.
So whatever your reasoning was, I just want you to know that while you spend your days searching, someone else has already found everything you're looking for--in me.
For more from rc, visit her writer's page here.
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