I couldn’t help but fall in love with the idealistic persona you created.
Your lies were marvelous, your physic chiseled, your words oh so seducing. It was a full proof plan you mustered, wasn't it?
Make the girl fall in love and then at the climax of her vulnerability... rip her heart out.
You cared more for yourself than you ever could for me.
No one can get that high off of destroying someone…. Right?
All of my passion in this love affair was derived from assurance. I was confined to your bed of lust and lies.
I entered your house of seemingly important characters and you led me straight to the bedroom.
Your lips traced mine, as I heard your breath, breathe in and out, in and out. Heavily. Slowly.
Your broad chest cornered me in the room. You lifted me up. My head above yours.
Your arms wrapped tightly around my lower back. I looked at you, your eyes they were beaming in the simple dim light up on the ceiling.
I could tell, my love outweighed my lust in that single moment. I was yours, and you were mine.
I was addicted to your gentle touches and the whispers of songs in the background.
I avoided every challenge and found comfort in your arms.
It was not the simplicity I was desperate for — it was the peace.
We were two kids who loved the world but were too scared to face reality
Through the years you stimulated every nerve in my heart and recreated the pattern of beating.
Yet, it only took one day for you to puncture through my heart and leave it there to heal itself.
I never cried or screamed. I laid there fully aware and conscious of what was happening.
You never used a scapula to inflict pain or to puncture the wounds.
You used simple words, a weapon more substantial than a blade.
Again, just like clockwork you came back...
You will never know how much I want to say yes to you. How much I want to drop everything and be with you again even though you hurt me.
I watched you fall into her arms every fucking day.
I woke up without you. I had to shift my life completely because you were missing.
Now here I am — without you. Still learning to live this life without you while you spend your days seeking attention from someone else.
Now you’re here missing me? On your knees wanting me back? Everything I’ve always wanted.
You will never know how much I want to say yes to you, but I can't, I won’t, and I never will again.
Thank you for making me a stronger person and making me realize I deserved a whole hell of a lot better than you.
Without you, for the first time in awhile, I finally feel like me again... back in control.
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