This feeling consumes her at 3 am when she can’t sleep… something about the darkness makes her feel the most alone.
There’s a brightness to her heart that is slowly starting to dim. Everything that once defined her is now weighing her down and pulling her into the darkness.
Drowning in her own thoughts and sadness she prays the feeling that the world is against her will fade away, but that isn’t enough.
She lies awake and wonders why this keeps happening to her. When did she become this person she doesn’t even recognize?
She was never the girl who needs reassurance or feels empty when she’s not made a priority, and suddenly… she does. People keep coming into her life only to walk out with a piece of her heart in their hand and she’s scared that eventually, there won’t be any left.
She’s exhausted from trying to smile through this life full of sadness and abandonment without anyone throwing her a rope to pull her up. Waking up every morning feeling worthless does damage on her heart so she can’t help but ask herself, does anyone actually care about her?
Does anyone even realize how broken she is inside? Or does her smile hide it that well?
Because it seems like the people she allows into her life are only adding fuel to the fire. She gives and gives and all they do is take, never reciprocating the kindness she puts out. She’s consumed by her own misery and no one seems to notice... or care enough to say something.
But her big heart won’t let her succumb to the misery though. Because she is so much more than the voices in her head at 3 am. She’s stronger than to sink into this shadow of a person she’s terrified of becoming.
At one point in her life, she didn’t need an ounce of reassurance and while right now it feels impossible to get back to that mindset, it is possible. And she will fight like hell to get back to that girl she once was.
The sun will come up in the morning and the brightness in her heart will return. It’s just a matter of silencing the thoughts that consume her at her worst.
She’s braver than she believes and stronger than she thinks, and even though this fight feels endless, she refuses to give up.