This is how you know sarcastic people have really taken over and the days of meeting polite nice people are long gone. These phrases we once knew to be sweet and genuine are now twisted to every sarcastic persons’ salty use. You can’t say anything now without someone thinking you’re being a sarcastic asshole. These phrases have been used sarcastically so often, that they have almost completely lost their true meaning.
1. "Thanks a lot."
Remember when this phrase used to mean that you were really thankful for what someone did? Now this means, you did something that affects me negatively, so thanks a lot, you jerk.
Even, if you try to say it nicely, chances are it won't come across that way.
If you want to express extreme genuine gratitude without sounding like a sarcastic bitch, you have to say "Thanks so much," "I really appreciate it!" or just repeated thank you a couple times; that will do the trick.
Or, if you're feeling sassy and someone just ruined the surprise party you'd been planning for months, go ahead and shoot the blank face and signature "Thanks a lot."
2. "That'll be the day."
Whenever someone has a crazy idea that is completely ridiculous or outrageously far-fetched, you've probably said: "that'll be the day." When you say this you're telling them that it will never happen and the day will never come.
Literally, no one uses this phrase positively or with an ounce of hope, but if you think about it, it sounds hopeful. I picture a 50's aspiring Broadway star walking by a billboard in Times Square, he looks up and smiles and whispers to himself "That'll be the day."
It sounds optimistic and like 'the day' is the day when things change and life becomes complete, but now it's just a way to shut down your friend's crazy ideas.
3. "Yeah, right."
When someone says something you agree with, you can say "yeah" and you can say "right," but if you utter those two words together than the meaning completely changes.
This one is a popular, concise way to just shut down an idea in seconds. "Maybe your mom will say yes to the concert?" "The professor might forget about the test." "James Franco would probably fall in love with me if he met me." YEAH, RIGHT.
It's almost mean, but it's a joke so you let it happen. Sarcasm is a true art form.
4. "No way, Sherlock."
Recently coined as, “No shit, Sherlock,” this is something that we say to people who are pointing out things that are obvious, but if you think about it, Sherlock was a brilliant fictitious detective.
This should be a compliment when you call someone Sherlock, it should mean that they uncovered something truly unknown or got to the bottom of a mystery, but alas Sherlock's good name has been turned into a clever literary insult.
5. "Surprise, surprise."
If you say surprise once, you're at a surprise party, you say it twice and it is probably because an obvious occurrence happened and you must point it out in the way your sarcastic soul tells you to.
It is not a surprise and by repeating this word you are letting everyone know. You might even throw in an eye roll or an "ugh" for dramatic effect.
6. "Great, terrific, fabulous."
Nothing like repeating a bunch of exciting adjectives to let people know something lousy happened.
If you hear someone saying "great" in a monotone voice, you know it's probably sarcastic, but it's not really clear. If they continue to spew out more such as "terrific" and "fabulous" and appear to get angrier, that’s how you know. The happier the words you use and the more you use, the worse the situation is.
It seems like such a string of happy words would be used for a scientist who's created an algorithm for time travel or someone who won the Powerball, but we use for things that aren't even close to being great and actually sometimes, not even that bad.
Did you lock yourself out of your apartment? Accidentally burnt dinner? Ex boyfriend is dating that girl from work that you always suspected he was attracted to?GREAT-FABULOUS-TERRIFIC-AMAZING-WONDERFUL.
7. "Good luck with that."
This is a subtle way, to let someone know that they have a terrible idea that will most likely have a horrible outcome. If you were to simply say "good luck" they just might think your encouragement was sincere, but when you add "with that", your opinion of this person's plan is heard loud and clear.
In a way, you are wishing them luck, but you are implying that they really need it. A simple well-meaning phrase turned into a way to shut down bad ideas in a comedic way.
Are you Chelsea Handler?
If you are enjoying a story or some new information someone is giving you, telling them it's fascinating is one of the worse things you can do. Fascinating is supposed to be a word that means intriguing, interesting, spellbinding even. However in the world today, the world of sarcasm, it means the story is a bore.
If you say this word and this word alone during a story, you alerting the storyteller, that they should stop, you're not interested.
Did we all get so cynical that aren't enough negative phrases that we have to get creative with our tone to change nice phrases? The short answer is yes, but where would we be without sarcasm, we would all be less funny and most comedians would be out of work.
Sarcasm makes the world go round. One of the key ways to make someone laugh is to give them an answer they aren't ready for. This is what sarcasm does, which is you need at least one sarcastic person in your life.
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