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6 Ways to Avoid Being Cliche on Valentine’s Day

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You’re really cute – I wanna bang you.

Valentine’s Day is the one time a year when we all (unless you’re that crazy cat lady or that king of nerds that is #foreveralone) that involves us treating our special someone “extra special and extravagant.” For real though – why, why, WHY does February 14th have to be the only day that Cupid shoots people in the ass? What about the other 364 days? Like bruh.

So, here’s to you Cupid and the 364 days you hide your face like a little b*tch.

Valentine’s Day tends to bring out the basic b*tch in all of us. So here’s 6 ways to avoid being a cliche BB:

1. Forget the box of chocolates – buy her a steak.

Okay, maybe the box of chocolates are still on…but treat your girl like the bad b*tch that she is and buy her a steak (or whatever it is her stomach desires). She’s worth more than the little heart shaped $5 box at Wal-Mart.

2. Ladies – whip out your womanism and cook for your boo.

I get it, being taken out to a nice dinner is great but treat your man with a nice home cooked meal around a candlelit setting. What’s more romantic than a candlelit dinner at your own home with no outside distraction? Who knows – maybe he’ll treat you to dessert. *wink wink*

3. Hallmark card schmallmark card.

Why spend $10 on a card made for everyone and anyone on the planet when you can write cute little sticky notes? Wanna spice things up: place the stickies all around the house and lead the most seductive/romantic note straight to the bedroom. (C’mon – we all have that side that comes out when we’re trying to be low-key kinky). Just do it!!!

4. Red Roses or nah.

So okay yes, females love flowers…especially roses. So maybe ignore my advice on this one and still buy the damn things, but add in a twist and make a playlist for your someone.

5. Romantic movie and chill.

Guys – us girls have you figured out. “A romantic movie leads to a romantic night in the bedroom.” So what if we get “heated up,” doesn’t mean we want you…at least not yet. Calm yourself, dude. Clearly she got all up in her feels because Christian Grey. Don’t flatter yourself too much boo boo.

6. Hulu and do you?

Netflix and chill. Imax and climax. Hulu and do you. Whatever you wanna call it, it all turns into a round of chiddy chiddy bang bang. Guys – if you want to suave her and have that typical V Day sex please do something extra romantic. Throw rose petals on the bed (or kitchen counter – wherever you want to pitch the teepee), light some candles, slow dance with her, take her out and actually show her a good time before you “show her a good time.”

You got this! Don’t let Cupid get to you this Valentine’s Day. You do you boo boo.